tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19755621955034608292024-03-06T05:57:04.846+05:30Tiana's Thoughts TalkUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-20381548557989553042015-05-16T23:21:00.001+05:302015-05-16T23:21:58.826+05:30A week away from Home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Week 1 <br />So, I thought I should go back to writing my blog but something just stopped my fingers from typing it down.<div>
But here I am , it's almost been a year since I wrote last. Its mid may and in no time MY Bombay will be swaying to the tune of the rains , well , I hope. I can sense the smell of the first..shower, sorely miss my window seat at home and falling asleep to the instrumental music already. June ... for some uncanny reason... has always been my most favorite month is, actually not an uncanny reason. June always was and will be special. Esp 9th and 22nd. :)<br />Its been a good long week since uae has had me. Summers first leg has been pretty harsh already and currently at 38 degrees , I just woke up from a nap only to wonder why does all of it feel so strange. Thankfully I am on the same continent and haven't gone off to the other side of this planet. Yes , I miss home. I miss my people. I miss my lanes. I miss the hour long conversations. I miss the food...my friends...their smiles. I miss the vibe of my city.<br />They say , as you go along .. you find something but in order to find that.. you lose a little bit of you. I ask , what if its the little bit of you...is the only thing you have?</div>
I have heard several miss yous since I am here. Been tagged in posts over fb and instagram. Been tagging people in posts over fb and instagram and believe me you...that has kept me going for now. I await only one miss you.. and the day I hear that.. I probably will even have my first breakdown in this city. <br />When I came down here, I was greeted with a chunk of mess. Being the neat freak I am. I gave it a good week to settle my entire room from scratch and unpacked my excessive luggage. The stuff is now in place while I am not. Pheeeeww , its been a task! Friends who kept in touch will know :)<br />After all of that drama settled... last evening I accompanied my grandmother to a local market. Man that woman can..still manage and do stuff at this age.<br />As the sky wore its dusky purple veil..waiting to be undressed by the stars, she and I landed up at a local bird and animal market. It was a shabby sight. My heart is still not out from the pain of watching people here grab these beauties by the scruff of their neck. I wish someone did that to them too. I could sense their desperation to be out from that cage. They were away from their home and so was I... what a connect!!<div>
Some couldn't even move properly , the cages were too small. The onlookers were so enchanted by their beauty that they wanted to trap it. How hideous!! Do the honors of putting up yourself for a sale in such an unhealthy place. Retards bloody! ... </div>
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Well we all crave freedom. And these creatures belong in a free world. What a well played trick..by God - give them wings and then show them the cage. I wish I could set them free. I am not saying its safe out there. Its a big bad world. But how beautiful would it be to let them be where they belong. We have auto tuned ourselves to the melodramatic life ...why watch them become a part of the "put up an act" jinx that we carry. We have got birds at home too... and I haven't spoken to them since the day I came...until today evening. I broke the ice by whistles and watching them look with great curiosity. I couldn't manage further. The cage sucks. I wont deny ... I have always wanted a pet too. A pet dog per se.... but I always wanted my dog to be a helper dog. Yes... I intend him to be one.<br /><br />It would be great if people could see through what these creatures are. They are us in another attire. If you love birds... love them...but set them free. Love them enough so that they can come back and you can share your heart with them. Let them carry that heart with them as they fly off. Thats the magic of life. You cant fucking cage that magic. Well I met this one...yesterday at the market. He moved ..as I moved..blinked as I blinked... and even gave the "honey , not now. I am naked" pose...hahaha!!! </div>
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But freedom ....where art thou ? #dubaidoobidoo<br /><br />And p.s. job hunting sucks here biggg time!</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-53755253981748651942014-06-01T02:16:00.000+05:302014-06-01T02:16:34.048+05:30LOVE is JUNE<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The month is over… and I already feel a sudden respite. My head is calm .. my fingers know the next word I want to type .. my vision is not blurred by worry. May has by far been the most annoying month of the year and like always I await june. As a kid I used to wait for june because summer break would be over and I would be back to school again. The all new start to memory wagon and the RAINS. The smell of the wet earth..the leaves swaying the grey skies and backstreet boys on loop. The purity and gaiety of childhood never returns…. Seasons do however. I sense a new beginning , I don’t know if there is going to be one but I just feel something is going to change and iron things out. I am a Rain Kid. June means magic. June means MOM and DAD. June means shopping. June means hope and June means LOVEEEEEE!!!!!!!<br />
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I wish I had a synonym for love… but I never found one. Not in books , not in the far of distances. Someone once said..love is God…my mind chuckled and said … LOVE IS JUNE! <br />
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I don’t know why I say so..but I say from the heart and no … june always hasn’t been THE month each year. Its had its share of amazingness and awfulness…oh bloody well it has. <br />
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And today being the 1st day of june this year… I felt..lets write something. I don’t care about the vocab or who is going to read it or the flow of the sentences or any darn thing. I care that I am going to put my heart out as I write what I write.<br />
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I don’t know why but this seems about right .. to write about the one person I really have loved /liked (to make it less controversial) for a really long time. The june boy. Okay umm when I fell for him I didn’t even know his entire name .. let alone his birthday. I only got to know much later ..after I had met him that he was a june boy. I met him on july 3rd… what a Sunday that was! A Sunday when I couldn’t believe who stood right before my eyes. His eyes – they were magic . You know that whole bollywoodish cum fairytaleish moment when your head is dizzy and eyes are sparkly and your mind can’t conjure what the heart wishes to say…haha it was precisely one of those over-hyped yet beautiful moment of my life. 11.37am to be bloody precise! I won’t say that I have loved him all out- uncontionally and blah blah blah… but I have kept at it for the longest time. And everything just makes me smile. I know a lot of people who might think I am out of my mind and all this is unreal. But here’s something… I don’t question it.. because the day I do … this whole thing will lose its cause and soul…which is making me HAPPY. I don’t expect or see a future… as teen may be I did so .. (c’mon I am allowed to have my fair share… when half the world can drool over and marry vampires.. all I asked for was a human) . Now I have grown out of that zone. Not the connect however. And its not something I want shall fade. It’s a story. It may be gibberish for a few but for me its something that is possibly indescribable in words. And some bonds don’t culminate into a relationship they just exist ….just like faith .. just like love… just LIKE A BLESSING. I would never discard the fact that he has always been one. I have not met a zillion boys…nor do I wish too ( Men can cause so much trouble *drama queen mode*) but I have met a decent number and I know no one will ever be like him. The look or his profession (which some may think is the count in factor) isn’t actually what matters. His beautiful brown eyes and amazing smile however do. The physical presence … I have learned via this connect isn’t required. Minds are taut devices…they know how to communicate and hearts are at par brilliance in doing that. I always wondered… what these gamut of emotions meant.. and for my answer I resorted to God… and never has he let me go disgruntled. Dangling yes…. But we all dangle no ? our lessons through these series of dangling and dwindling differ. It’s just good to have someone.. who has no idea what probably they mean to you. Its good to let your world revolve in subtle way around someone..without hampering your focus.. and its good to smile admist a dream knowing you are capable to loving if not anything else in this lifetime. <br />
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That Gorgeous birthday month is here… can’t wait : )<br />
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A good friend of mine these days has been having a good laugh over this little bits of my everyday stories and says “your life is becoming rangeen” and goes on her hahahhahaaha spree<br />
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And a childhood friend of mine quoted “ listen we are still stuck in 9th standard”<br />
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Aaaannnd my oldest childhood friend is mentally prepping up for a soon to be “new chapter” of her life…<br />
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Man we have come a long way. From candy heart kids to classroom debates…. to hops and bats to kho-kho….. to camera drama to boy discussion …to what to wear…to what to say .. to boss issues to any form of trouble ….to mummy ne yeh bola..to daddy got me something fab today..etc. Everything neatly bundled up into a memory and filling up the sleeping pillow.<br />
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All I shall write today (to anyone who needs this) .. that please oh please …lets talk about relationships. Dude…what issss this phase in life…!!!! All my friends on different levels.. my just a graduation ceremony away from being an agony aunt. Someone can’t top loving someone…someone can’t stop missing someone…someone can’t give a damn about someone…someone keeps slipping into depression…someone resorts to a total shut down..someone doesn’t know if its real..someone breaks up every second day ..someone just can’t seem to find the one.. and so on.<br />
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Dude listen .. *statutory warning: I haven’t been in a relationship …so may be I don’t get you.. but this isn’t the first time I am being a shoulder or a ear or a heart to someones deep wounds* .. so lets just have my say on this. ----Relationship constituents – TIME HEART and FAITH! Not geography not money ..not physicality not fashion..not education. Its lke a paper heart string.. you cut out one and at the end connect up to so many …buuuttt only one of them is close. That heart could be anyone.. a teacher a parent a dog a plant your guitar a piece of art just anything on this darn face of earth. All you need to know there is exists an unexplainable connection and trust me nothing breaks that communication. Not even the ugliesttttt scars. However its imperative for me to mention ..please don’t wear blinkers and mock your own beautiful life. No matter how obsolete things may seem…or you wish to run away or perish … boss be there. A relationship or for that matter love EMPOWERS. No fucking one said …there wont be heart breaks…oh bloody there will be …may be many ..may be few…may be just one. You will feel immense disappointment ..the anger pain.. the worry the questions ..the lonely spree…or may be phases of escapism. Look I was taught my mother..that I am born as an individual ..my karmas are mine. I shall die..the way I came…alone. It’s a universal rule. But she never said …kid don’t be attached to someone or something. Who it shall be.. was my call more often than not. Why should I vault over the consequence when I did pretty much make a choice. No one is here to succumb to the wounded memories…. Its just that we at times fail to realize and look at life from a perspective of an individual. No love is fake. If its fake its not love. So please don’t regard your efforts as shit. Just because someone doesn’t appreciate doesn’t mean no one has kept a tab… God has his own set of accounts. Where most kids/teens/ youth today have grown tremendously impatient with their relationships .. I don’t know why no one sees ..that yes… you have to be happy too…not just the other person. You have to learn and respect too…not just expect that. You have to build a relationship into one ..being two different minds..with hearts in unison. You don’t have to stagnate .. you have to improve. You don’t have to blindly build a bond.. you have to take a like its for your own life forever. You don’t have to treat it like an activity you have to treat it like a matter of heart. Give each other dreams wings of belief. Reason out things. Make plans and work them out. Its called falling in love…not hopelessness (self quote) hehe! Do that. And yeah…… listen… if things don’t work out ..get ugly and you have to walk away …bossy … get a grip of your life please. Not everyone shall make your life colourful no ? never under estimate or draw conclusions about yourself over the spill of past…never ever. Don’t let anything broken cement you into it. You love a person ..great.Hope good for them and do good for yourself. Don’t hinge in stupidity. We all want things to work out.. but there is no point in ruining a self that you’d end up hating eventually. Take it as a chapter…or maybe a page.. whatever you make like.. and make it count…not CRY! You are grown up enough to deal with things.. and you are aware enough that more than anything else in the god damn world you need yourself… not pointless reflections.. your true self.. that can slap you in the face and make you realize you have a purpose.. and that is to be Happy. Someone once said… a day without smile ..is a day wasted… I agree. …So hang in there.. and the sun will show up .. if not .. I promise I will sit under the blanket of stars and hear your woes.. like I always have. Much more love than you need…via this hug! ( Dear God.. please gift me with a halo if not a …honda accord will work) *grinning*<br />
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Closing with the lines ..of my current heart throbs new movie (Sid)…p.s. my list never ends it gets difficult to keep a track hahahaha!<br />
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Pal do pal<br />
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Ki kyun hai zindagi<br />
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Is pyaar ko hai <br />
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Saadiyan kaafi nai <br />
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Toh khuda se maanglu <br />
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Mohalaat mein ek nayi <br />
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Rehna hai bas yahan <br />
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Abh door tujhse jaana nai<br />
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See you soon :)<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-76113598746515080372014-04-26T17:39:00.000+05:302014-04-26T17:39:31.644+05:30Found In a Mess<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Rare are the days when your dad will say "Bachey start writing." I have never had the faith in the words I have penned or typed. I disagree with anyone who says I can be a writer ...SOMEDAY (ssshh my school principal said that too -infact she wanted me to write a book). I am writing here after a good gap of year ....umm...sorry I'll use the word I do - I am ramblinggggggg.. Needless to say alot has happened and alot has changed. Great let downs and great highs. Disappointments..tears....smiles ..laughter and hell lotta question marks. That's all that happened this year. I didn't get to savor the delight of my own victory. I was baffled by the events that I lost a grip of my own life and de fragmented myself in a way that made me nothing but vulnerable. I frowned more often ..I whined more often and I just went with the flow like a dead fish would. I didn't attend to my inner voice. I had my creative work to give me good jolt to make things work finally but I guess I needed something more. Something that was suffice to be a hammer and a halo at the same time. I won't say I have found that way as yet. I surely haven't. But I am finding bits of me strewn and picking those up to build me back... A me I loved a Me others loved.<br />Whats new -Work Life<br />Whats needed-Focus and Belief<br />Whats there- Love and compassion anddddddddddd....a "to do list"<br />Whats the center of life - Meraki<br />Whats gone and over - The faith that I can be a good anything-friend-daughter-sister..blah blah<br />What remains- dreams tucked in so well ...and sometimes they don't know they exist<br />What I wish for - *girly voice-insert -A Date with Mr S Malhotra* ..... hahaha how I wish I could marry him<br />What should change this year - My weight *angelic look -pleaseeee* ...and my bank balance .....pleaseeeeee...<br />What I am going to change this year -MY ATTITUDE TOWARDS MY OWN LIFE .<br />I mean I am done with listening to broken records and words that sound like life won't ever get any better. I am done telling myself to keep waiting. It's time to take things in a better stride and have the courage to seek answers to may be the most dumbest questions ever. It's time to discard the creative disbelief ..It's time to stop being the one who waits for a confirmation and just be spontaneous and it's time to make it happen rather than having the damsel in distress attitude.<br /><br /><div style="color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; padding: 0px;">
“Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.”-RUMI</div>
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This is for a friend( and anyone who needs this).... and this is to let her know ..that life isn't dandy ...its bloody not meant to be. When things cripple you .. you don't give into the devils play ..you straddle up and get into the zone of crushing the devil. Someone .. once threw a brilliant advice that said.. "If you don't break.. you don't build... if you don't fall you seldom rise." It takes a lot of faith and courage to hinge yourself to hopes of better tomorrow when everything backfires at you. Its not easy to deal with pain and the emotional drain out..let alone the physical and mental. Nothing is easy ... nothing at all .. its purely a gimmick if anyone says it is. Google is gone so complicated... and you expect life to not be ? C'mon ... its all the scaling of these steep climbs that make u hell stronger than you ought to be. But if you keep fearing the height and the harshness of it all ..you will be where you are....and stagnate and perish. You need to define you constantly. Not the people ..not a degree...not a boyfriend...not a heck of anyone else...but you . If you let your troubles tower up...thats your problem... you gave them the freedom and space too. Kill it crush it.. and rub your achievements in its face ..then see what unfolds. </div>
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Its true what a friend once told me - "you can't have control over anything ..then why put yourself in such a traumatic state. Its your life. You know what you want from it. Go extract or else go extinct." </div>
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Come to think of it...its true right ?.. there is no replica of you. Then why curb yourself every single day from the joy of being yourself. You are meant to rejoice it not 100..1000 other people. Take a stand. Take pride in being yourself and sculpt yourself with every tool life has handed over to you.</div>
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And if nothing...scroll up ...Read the most precious words of RUMI ! ..... Such a gorgeous word TREASURE.....!!! :) Do you believe you are one ? give it a try ...it's worth it. (ssshhhhh HINT-...it's always found in a mess)</div>
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A virtual hug and kiss to anyone who is feeling down ... and even if you are not... hugs and kisses are good for health ...hehehe. Muchhhhh love!!! </div>
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p.s Dad I Wrote ..............opps...rambled!</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-283671561349824972013-03-29T04:37:00.000+05:302013-03-29T04:37:45.601+05:30Hatred+Jealousy .. Confusion+Anger ... Friendships...Life ...Love... Failure...Gratitude and a Story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well , It's been a while.<br />
Things have kept me busy. The platter was almost next to full. Nothing really productive about the full though.<br />
College life is hectic. Submissions and presentations have grilled me like some toast. Though all of them have been really good..I can't say I am confident enough. I guess.. I never was.<br />
Sometimes its difficult to accept that the rules are different for everybody. People two year younger to you could actually give you a run for your money and are acing the game that you thought you knew well and could handle it smoothly. Past few months have been a lot running around and ending up with nothing. It hurts. When you lie awake till 6am and sleep up till 11.30am... and wake up all grumpy and annoyed. yeah well..sleep and me...dont get along that well.<br />
This emotional tangle has been driving me to my wits end. I miss the old me terribly. I am away and shut most of the time. Arguing angry ...like wanting to pick things and throw them and watch something break. Ofcourse there are reasons why I am feeling like that and writing them down is only going to make me cry and wake up with swollen eyes. So I wont go there.<br />
Hatred and Jealousy seem to be at the hilt over the past few weeks. The the way a few people conduct themselves kind off upsets me at times..... ummm.. most of the times. I don't retaliate like a volcano .. no point. I have even some where stopped praying or having faith. Given up on a certain things and people. Lost a count of the deadlines i didnt keep upto for myself. Don't recollect the last time I met my best friend. Its just been such a "this is not the life i ordered" phase. Even art fails to bring me peace these days..and Facebook doesnt make me smile any longer the way it used to. A lot has changed and a major portion of that -alot- isn't what I needed. But who said that I get to make choices. Life still plays its card and I still make those rookie mistakes. Gosh ..Where am I????<br />
As far career things go. Eh...no clue yet. The diploma will get done my june and post grad diploma by july. Where did the year go by ...No idea.<br />
And when will design make an entry in my life as a career option ...for good... no idea about that either.<br />
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And to my friends... with whom I haven't kept in touch for longer than I thought. I won't say sorry. That word has lost its meaning over the years. But I will tell you ...I miss you and I haven't forgotten you...never will. And I hope.. soon enough I get the time to catch up ..or if not.. then chat up :)!! Thanks for being there.<br />
As for new friends.. well.. I am living it up this year in college as far as friendships go and I do ... sincerely hope that once the term ends.. the friendship arches down to many many more years. Seemu.. yes.. finally I am addressed by nick name than my actual name.<br />
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Life has got complicated and confusing and there is this sickening feeling of...no progress. God knows WHY! But a talk with a friend cheered me up last night while I was in no mood to even look at the adorable two bars of chocolate. I was totally off the tangent...angry..weepy and thought I couldn't keep up.<br />
But well... A friend in need is a friend indeed.<br />
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There is one advice my Doc gave my Dad- Leave her alone and let her be. I wont say he has kept to it even a little. But my doctor could see through. Well he is like a Grandad and for that I adore him. I better start keeping the promise I made to my doctor.<br />
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Love...Oh Sweet Love. Of all the things I know...I know Love doesnt come easy and if at all its easy..its not worth it. I am not saying Love should be hard....but ...Love does arrive with its own set of 'this and that'..'then and now' 'if and whys'....'forever or never'...!! I remember the person I fell for when I was 16 ..and I like the way history has repeated with my sister... I mean not love wise.. just the way "the meeting" happened.. and oh yeah its the same person. Its a blessing she doesnt Love him... I don't still either. But I do remember how much I had prayed for days together for this one person and I am glad to see things I wanted for him come true. I don't mind being Friends though.<br />
Besides that .. I see the way Love has come and gone off in my "xzy" friends...and Friends... and more friends lives and all I have to tell them ....is that Love has to beautiful... just that.. and nothing more.. it has be a journey filled with smiles ...memories that could hide up the tears in your eyes ... moments...words...and faith. Thats all...!!!<br />
And well my sister wants me to get married asap.. so that I can have babies...and she can play with them. Eviliest younger sister...could be the better way to put it. Its good to see her grow...not good to see the way things are going though. Well..she will learn in time... despite of the several warnings that she hasnt paid heed too. and her..."not at all cool/accepted" conduct... I think...I need to let go. I have done what I can as a sister...beyond that...the lessons are meant for her.<br />
<br />
Failure...is ofcourse harsh. To tackle failure as a lesson and not as a stagnation point needs alot of knowing yourself. And I think its crucial to be thankful to the events in life that lead you to fail no matter at what front and at what time frame in life. If you do look back... it is all these failures.. or all these people who kept looking down on you at some where worked as a catalyst to make to strive that extra bit. Its a Thanks to them for it...no matter who they are!...Its good to have someone.. who can point a bullet at you and tell you that you are going to die...and you laugh it off like life is a forever promise... and bloody well prove it to them too.<br />
<br />
As for the new love....BEN RAFTER...oh what should I even say. I love him ...thats it.<br />
Being a ardent "FRIENDS" fan I never thought I could move on and go on to discover a show that would get all my love. But here I am.. and Packed To The Rafters is my ONLY dose of sanity in the whole day. What a brilliant family drama.. lovely characters etched well..and what a cast. Oh I could ramble on this for hours together. Its made me cry ..like literally and laugh as well.<br />
And here is to my recent fav. line from the show -Thats the thing about kids.- we all grow up eventually ....even though it hurts like hell.-athan.-<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
Thats all for now :)<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-86808669683770128212013-01-18T05:08:00.000+05:302013-01-18T05:08:41.514+05:30CROWDED HEAVEN<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Wake Me Up From This Broken Dream pleaseee!!!</i><br />
<i>2012 gone by in a blink... whats left to recollect is how I called in that "famous all over the world calendar year " and this "I am glad you came.......well lets see year"!! Studies and Exams it was... gosh the academics out here I tell you. One can go on scribbling answers over endless pages and land up being nothing but raw when in the industry !! Time to pull up the sleeves and dive into practical learning now- like HIGH TIME!!!</i><br />
<i>Sometimes... all that one has planned about just seems like a mirage, it draws you in and then leaves you disappointed .</i><br />
<i>I am still on the road with too many curves and bends. Yes, there are days when I wish for an easier way to be out because sometimes all that happens is a little too much to deal with at one time. The road gets blocked , the vision gets blurred , the story sounds like a broken record and the only thing your heart can manage to mutter is - Give Up Dammit.... just Give Up!!! Like and unending -clueless-pointless-emotionally and mentally draining maze!</i><br />
<i>Who are People? The wide- and so to say "wise" audience who judge us or that tiny inner voice that keeps squeaking a zillion things in a single go?! seriously who are people... the one you see... or the ones who see you??? .... the ones you know... or the ones you don't .... ??? or just one person .... its all that "people" you and I talk about .....??? and if at all it is that one person... then its YOURSELF!! Come to think of it ... what matters at the end of all the Who's is .. which one manages to take the lead - to make a difference in that bit of YOU!!! People aren't just additions ...they aren't just shades ..they aren't just numbers and voices.... its a summary of YOU!!! How and When.. turns out to be a gradual process. </i><br />
<i>Now... whats Heaven ??? ahhh...Happiness....Isn't it?</i><br />
<i>And What's Happiness???? making money ? topping an exam? making new friends? overcoming fears? talking to someone? meeting a person after ages? creating something? all that materialistic paradise? reading on a rainy day with hot chocolate milk ? a bike ride in winters? shopping? making people smile? breaking someones heart? being the love of someones life? facebooking? sports? making music?writing? star gazing? long beach walks? a kiss beneath the moonlight? a slow dance? a basket full of garden fresh strawberries ? watching little babies? photography ? nature? adventure? getting married? celebrations ? getting a deal? hearing i love you /miss you .. all those you's? watching a movie? a hug? moms shoulder? dad's advice? petty fights with siblings ? painting? travelling?making the dreams come true ? peace? moreeeeeee.......and soooooooo much...to add on to the list....... Just what is this happiness ?- Victory that prevails or Victory that fades... ??? Victory that you need? Victory that you earn ? Victory that is yours to call... or gifted by the world???? Is Happiness Victory........YES it is !!!! Its just like A Cake!!! We all Love it .... but we like our own kinda slice... with our choice of icing, flavor and our bit of Heaven ....!!! We spend all our life trying to grab a bite of this "customized" Slice!!!! ...and the only job left on us to do .... is... when we have grabbed that very bit ... of the heaven ... we gotta make it WORTH IT!</i><br />
<i>I have been busy like a rat trying to find cheese all day (sorry to get into food... its ticking 5.00am in the morning and all I can think about is food)... my heart took to penning anger and sadness due to various reasons... one of them being ... is feeling- of a loser..never good enough ... not even tiny bit capable.....</i><br />
<i>another being... the oh so family "much needed drama".... gosh they can never read me true...</i><br />
<i>and then ofcourse the one festival..college festival ..which I was working towards with all my heart and creativity... gets scrapped...</i><br />
<i>a wedding...... God... I just can't seem to enjoy them .. especially when there are streaks of jealousy... and the whole alienated feeling.... seeping in through and through and ripping you till your emotionally low and leveling up on anger ... anddddd....when in a roooooooooooooooom full of crowd... no matter where you walk up to... you are ALONEEE...</i><br />
<i>the sudden distance with friends... due to what so ever reason...</i><br />
<i>the no job....no money-- death rope...</i><br />
<i>the no weight loss...</i><br />
<i>the mounting expenses...</i><br />
<i>the "i am soooo tired to putting up with that smile"...</i><br />
<i>the " i miss an idiot" feeling....</i><br />
<i>and i could justttttt go on.......blah bleh blue.............kinda goes well... its winters... and I need to get a life.... but until then the blue can stay.....</i><br />
<i>while heaven shall weave itself...for me to seek it well!!!!!</i><br />
<i>Its's indeed a crowded place.... </i><br />
<i>and all I know is a Face..... just the face...nothing beyond....nothing ...more inspiring as yet....!!!</i><br />
<i>Could I be anymore...droppy eyed???</i><br />
<i> .................Oh C'mon.... its just another day.... that will wind up with me whining again ...!!!</i><br />
<i>Hence... I said.... </i><br />
<i>Wake Me Up From This Broken Dream pleaseee!!!</i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-36128684498158246792012-12-09T16:00:00.002+05:302012-12-09T16:00:41.673+05:30Too Much ..on A SINGLE Platter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Ah A Single Life!<br />
Wonder treads in each day ..gently tapping my head and pushing me off the edge. Nothing comes Easy and if you want something --> its going to be a tedious warfare between the heart , mind and faith.<br />
Calling in for challenge is a nasty routine each day. Reduction in the sleep hours still stays and...the days when the effort pays of that rush of happiness tingles through and through.<br />
But I am still ME ..still stupid... still not responsible ..still not giving and STILL CLUELESS...Dammit!!!<br />
I wish I were a nomad... with no cares in the world just the restless gait of search filling up the need of the days. Just the foot , eyes and soul travelling.<br />
I wish I could breathe my dreams rather than merely etching them when dark skies paint the canvas of above.<br />
The sky however...these days.. no matter how dark... lets me look at the stars. Gosh I miss going up each evening on my terrace ...or to the beach once a week and watch orange brush strokes . Its an outstanding sight.<br />
Look.. I know there is a lot to learn and in time it will all fall into place. But I don't know how to tame or calm my *oh so - why the heck are the things not working out* self down!!!!<br />
And well....Love never booked a room yet . Just these betraying images did and captivated me for long... like hell long.<br />
I think growing up is a boring business and there is no fun class to it. There are super rough days and it gets all the more grilling if you are one of those who doesn't like to hurt others. I mean why the heck would you.<br />
So its a emotional state of - losing a balance of wisdom and getting trapped in that crazy whirlwind of words and events.<br />
I am no saint. Not meant to be one.<br />
I need time - to change - to improve - to discover - TO PROVE!!<br />
If I will to conquer ... I must start with myself first. I am done waiting and done wishing others changed.<br />
They won't - unless something really massive urges them to.<br />
My Massive for this Moment is - ME!!!!<br />
I am growing tired of this image I have..not that it is bad its just that its stagnant.<br />
Beauty can't be random... it blooms through this aching moments. Moments when you hate yourself so bad that you are willing to churn yourself and put the best foot forward in any way you can .<br />
I now also know that ... the pain that cloaks and wraps us ... will never fade. Atl east for me it won't ..it bloody won't. And all those people you love... will leave your side... YES they will.<br />
There is something called as stand alone.... it must be applied .<br />
Its the only damn way in which you can speak for yourself.<br />
I have been broken several times ... (no no ... not a boyfriend issue....eshhh)... just you know how life swings about... one moment high.. and then slowly a down swing... *bangs her hand on the desk* ... should have known from childhood... that is the lesson of LIFE !<br />
Now I do.<br />
Now.. I also know... that I won't rub those... dreams - those things I wish to achieve- no matter how long it takes... I will.<br />
Like... I said.. I am done waiting.<br />
The heart shall now remain a place.. only for the things that make me happy ... as for the unhappiness... I can't undo those... all I can do is ... Lock them up .. rather than leaving them to wander about ...<br />
<br />
Some of us are lucky enough to deal with the things we love.<br />
The rest of us simply have to deal with all of that .. which we never planned for...<br />
As for me... Hah!!!<br />
It will be ... more fantastic .. than I ever thought..!!!....Challenge ??? :)!!!<br />
<br />
See YA!<br />
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-87439886610153324542012-11-06T01:46:00.000+05:302012-11-06T01:49:36.969+05:30SEARCH<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
www.google.com...<br />
sorry<br />
why the heck even take the effort to type down "www"..<br />
shortcuts<br />
simpler life<br />
complicated technology<br />
distance put to rest by an sms ...yeah thats where we are...<br />
i hate this age i am in<br />
i hate the way a clock rules my life.... i wonder how more dramatic things will get once i have a job.<br />
and yes i wish google could give me all my answers.<br />
it cant .... in a zillion years it cant<br />
not because the high end and rapid changes in science and tech cant bring us that ... but just because.... often whats needed..is not a search on the internet... its the search done by scarping the various layers of time...and moments of the day.. scraping them to figure... what the hell it really was -is- could be....<br />
it feels like ages ... since i have written here... not because i was too caught up.... yes i was..but not so much that it would keep me away from here...whether someone out there reads it or no.<br />
so this search... whats it all about.... and why .<br />
i think its important to feel let down... its important that life puts us through trials..its important to be heart broken..its important to cry... and its important to question.<br />
often lost in stories of wonder which dont seem to end... i get caught up in the rough wind of emotions that bar me from welcoming a brighter tomorrow.<br />
i wont say life hasnt changed. it has but.. along this pathway of change.. i have turned more into a rebillion than the one who understands- accepts -and changes things for the better.<br />
i lie awake.. at dead hours of night... with mad rushing thoughts..thinking ..and feeling like a failure. i shouldnt be saying this considering how blessed i am - to have a family - to get a two time meal- to study - to communicate- and all of that. but these days... its certainly different... i draw myself into chattering crowd to find silence. i barely pray anymore... and listen to the spluttering sounds of the doubts born to blind me . the glint in the eyes has disappeared. the will to perform and prove is diminishing. i am closer to adapting the words often said- useless - thankless- cant keep anyone happy.<br />
there are people who love you .... or rather things... who get you to love them so much that you dont have time for anything else.<br />
i am tired of figuring out what the hell is this search all about though.... search for love- money - career- fame- creativity- friend- understanding- courage- faith -peace-happiness...what ..just what..<br />
dreams dont seem to find an exit..<br />
life gets grilling ..<br />
but as time arches to tomorrow.... even though the day fails me right down till night... and i am left with nothing but ..so much of ache which is hard to spell..<br />
i know...that one day... i will be brave enough to break barriers and define a place beyond the skies..<br />
one day ... darkness indeed will be my best friend for it lead me to the light in way nothing else could have...<br />
one day... the music of hope will help me pen a song... a song... where a string of achievements reside and laughter blossoms..<br />
like i wrote a few days back...as my update.... "best people in life are the ones who treat you in the worst possible manner for no given reason and often they are the ones who are your very own "<br />
someday ...people who don't know will see... and grow up to know.... that each of us is special ....and there is this jar of unique star dust ...we own... it helps us shine when its TIME...<br />
bitter gales are just a test...or the best URL to hunt the true "shining" person within you .<br />
its hard ofcourse .... but i hear everything in this world comes with a balance ......i just hope those aren't rumours ....<br />
from now till i write next (dont know when )- take care .</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-76937138920186346642012-09-16T01:52:00.000+05:302012-09-16T01:52:40.542+05:30OH Dear..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
wow..<br />
this week has been super fast . It feels like sunday just went by..like just. the coming week will spell alot of planning ...alot of sorting work to start..decide specific avenues ..meet ups..and gosh i can't even remember what more..i just know more :)<br />
there was once upon a time ..i loved getting to know people , somehow that took a backseat ..but i m glad i am trying to get back to that Me , its going to be slow ..but eventually :)<br />
whats been new - ahh .trying to sleep early ..(shh i fail at it though )<br />
whats been the same - ahh that i m still spending money like water<br />
what i wish changes - my anger and manner of talking its become way to rude<br />
whats fun- classes each day ..oh i am such a happy girl then<br />
what sucks - ..the fact that i dont know what career to chose , that i dont have a job , i m not a good learner, my art is going to the dogs , certain other stuff...and eh growing up...<br />
what i am thinking about right now- ganu coming home<br />
what i dearly miss- gakkai, friends, roxy, childhood.<br />
whats up next-err sleep ..maybe ?<br />
what song i am hooked onto these days - oh well- undone and ishqwala love<br />
whats something i have been waiting to do- watch moviesssss<br />
what i am looking forward to post two months - oh goshhhhh exams...and assignments ...n north trip :):)..amritsar will hopefully- finally happen :) satnam waheguru :)<br />
what in store for tomorrow- a poem i have been wanting to complete since long and lots more.<br />
to you reading this ..<br />
this was what my birthday was like ...<br />
<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-34199583794785044862012-09-09T00:07:00.003+05:302012-09-09T00:07:55.490+05:30A Little Bit of Me ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br /><br />I am still The shy girl with a gazillion dreams ..that weave themselves into my heart each day..moment after moment...<br />I still believe ..restrictions can make u a rebellion or fine tune u into a loner...<br />I'll agree to when -people say- break the rules.. let go of the guard.. stumbling down is better than not moving at all...<br />I'll still choose purple over pink...white over black and red over blue..<br />I'd say nature and its offerings are the best companions ever ..if you strike a dialogue with them you need nothing more...<br />I like the idea...of getting home a dog than having a boyfriend...<br />I love people...who love art...who know what its like to evolve through that medium... they inspire me..<br />I fall for the glint in the eyes of small kids and their adorable laughter...cute hugs...<br />Surprises are preferred over plans...and letters instead of emails...<br />Nothing in the world...like the rains...not even the sun..not even the snow...<br />Cartoons still make me laugh like a kid...<br />I'd prefer staying home... than going clubbing...<br />I find relaxation either when i m watching a movie or m done dealing with something that has made my head scream ouch...<br />I love cars more than barbies...and once upon a time i lovedddd video games...<br />sea planes are my new love and fighter planes will always be the love<br /> i have the ardent wish to defy gravity someday...<br /> i want to seriously hold a white -flawless snake once....even turquoise would do...and get into a cave where stalactite and stalagmite have a home..<br /> I want to pet a harpy eagle or a white owl...or the tiny one (i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee owls)<br />haha..i wish i could solve a maths paper without making a single mistake...<br />pillows ..walls and air...know a hell lot more about me than anybody on this face of the earth...<br />i want to watch seven comets at once...seven rainbows at once... and seven constellations at once...<br />birthdays means...cards cakes and wishes arching to coming years.....<br />i can not travel by a train...in india...<br />a beach side dinner sounds better than a too highly sophisticated dinner...<br />i want to see a blue whale right before me...<br />a blank paper and a pencil are amazing friends...<br />sometimes it is better to cripple with pain than speak up and ruin everything u managed to work for...<br />stairs are better than elevator...<br />i want to create someday... a buliding...probably in uae or vegas... which is mind boggling...<br />i do believe in santa.... and fairies...<br />if you dont enjoy your own company..dont expect others to...<br />its good to listen to others... but never turn deaf to your voice...<br />magic...is inviting<br />ripleys is amazing....<br />i want to learn how to ride a horse...i loveeeeee the galloping beauties.... i'll name mine stallion <br />air rifle shooting.. archery ... figure skating....loveeee them...<br />basketballers ...and dancers will always steal my heart...<br />bull fighting will remain my favorite sport ...<br />i wonder what it would be like to stand on the top most peak of the himalayas...<br />i want to witness an avalanche from a distance...<br />hitler...is still my favourite...<br />youth is the most crucial time to cultivate and groom yourself...<br />having a converstaion with yourself at times can be the best stress buster... or else... a cold shower...<br />I write ...no i ramble... i dont read... i m stupid... and make tons of silly mistakes...<br />I dont know to cook..neither m i a foodie...but i loveee good food...-veg- to b specific... <br />i do not make friends easily... i think alot before trusting a person...n once i do..even if they break my trust...i m yet foolishly attached to them...<br />i love my mom to death...and argue the most with my father...like a friend...not that i dont fight with mom...they are just a little more fierce ...:P<br />long walks... are a blessing...<br />swings call out to me and memories of my childhood...<br />i fall head over heels for on screen characters...n yes edward isnt in that list...<br />music plucks my string of thoughts...<br />poets build a home within me...<br />the world of science baffles me...and makes me wonder HOW...<br />universe...was..and will be my love...the space...the galaxies... the stars intertwined ...feels like destiny asking me...never ..to give up...<br />i dont fear death anymore...had pretty close encounters...<br />competition should only and only be with yourself...<br />if their was a chance i could to talk to or meet someone who was no more...it will be einstein ..galileo ..lady diana and mother teresa <br />i want to go to the artic once..to watch the nothern lights...<br />i want to tame a brazilian jaguar...or a tiger...swim with sharks and dolphins...meet sinbad the liger.. and travel the world...study art and culture...learn ..what was once my love-dance...<br />write stories for my grandchildren (haha this is funny considerng how afraid i am of marriage )<br />fall in love with this guy who makes the whole world seem like some paradise..<br />be the best daughter i can...<br />learn to make desserts.. ahaha..i have a sweet tusk...<br />work for the society....and like i said...a gazillion stuff more...<br />keep my friends etched into the word family...<br />and gather myself each time..something breaks me down...the only way to live is to walk the road...:)!!!<br />write a poetry to mr bachan and my mentor- daisaku ikeda once...<br />have rajma rice with shahrukh... <br />meet christian bale.. ohh well i cud go on...thats how...i go about..i ramble... :P<br />if we are friends and havent fought even once...we are on the absolute elementary level of friendship in my books then...<br />prayers makes life worth...<br />having ambitions is the fuel..<br />creating value is the mission...<br />and never giving in to lashing circumstances is the key...:)!!!<br />its better to be a part of mystery than predictablity ...<br />the sound of the piano has me forever...<br />m a owl...sleeping at the wee hours ...is pretty much me..<br />my cellphone.. its the most loved and abused thing around me...<br />irritating me ..is the easiest thing to do... hah...afterall i have a fowl temper...<br />clicking pictures is my way of wheeling my time to some purpose... creativity is my hook of love.. i orbit around it...<br />i love sarcasm... i love FRIENDS...phoebe and joey the most...my life is incomplete without these new yorkers...<br />i am fruits ...cheese...and paneer....girl...<br />thumps is my drug ...since alcohol is a thought miles and miles away...<br />greed and jealousy are my sins...<br />bugatti veyron 16.4 grand sport...yes id love t own that someday...<br />nothing compares to school life ...i still cherish the day when my poem got published n my principal spoke to me personally sharing her expectations ..with me..:)<br />i want to have one birthday...celebration in greece...and other at amritsar...<br />i hateeeeee cricket<br />i am not a punjabi.....m a sindhi... but i do not like the language... and prefer..talking lil broken punjabi...<br />there is alot in life to learn about...<br />m injury prone...<br />and loveeeeeeee blue eyes...<br />saying no is hell lot easier than a yes..<br />batman is the coolest superhero...<br />hindu mythological stories amaze me..<br />the biggest and truest religion that can ever be..is humanity..<br />isnt it better to just lie down and look up at the ceiling some nights..<br />yes shopping is indeed a therapy ...also creating something is....<br />i love to watch the moon...<br />i nickname the people i really care for...<div>
Watching tv keeps me engrossed ..</div>
<div>
I believe if you keep your eyes open ..an be present in the moment there are hings that you must have never thought about that live to inspire you..</div>
<div>
there are two people i miss the most... masi and bua.. because the only time i will ever be able to meet them is when i go to heaven (if at all my chances are bright)</div>
<div>
<br />i enjoy gossip....:)<br />i fear water...and heights...and yet desire to do adventure sports ...(parasailing was soooooooooooo much fun)<br />i think people back in time...used their brain miilion times more..better than what we do today...its evident from their work that lives with us...<br />nostradamus ..was not bad....he was just another person...dont we too speak about ill happening..n other such stuff? at times we do...<br />confusion honestly leads you to dig into better ways and solutions...<br />procastination happens...when something else becomes more important than your dreams..<br />you need the bullies... so that you can learn to fight back...and be heard..<br />peace can only be found..when u r ready to work for it...so is happiness....<br />politics sucks...<br />making money is easy.... knowing what to do with it is not....<br />fantasy..of hogwarts grabs a yes from me...<br />appreciation and gratitude are the toughest qualities to inculcate..so is humbleness...and compassion ...<br />knowing few people really well is better than knowing a group of monkeys...<br />the steeper the climb....the better the view...<br />its always better to break a few bones by giving the best you have got rather than doubting... and not trying...<br />failure shouldnt throw you off track.. and achievements should not let the devil in you ..out for a jaunt..<br />keeping secrets...and playing pranks... are things to do...<br />sneaking out and getting in trouble is also a must...<br />Folding your hands before God...and asking for forgiveness... is the chance ..you have each day...he doesnt believe in set offs...but lessons that will make us better...<br />A tomorrow already rests in the palm our hands...time can be evil to snatch that away... <br />Before it does...A today lies wide awake...to be held ..to tell a story...worth enough to gift the tomorrow to us...<br />I DO ...isn't the hurdle...try it out... and dig a grave for I Don't...<br />These are thoughts.....<br />Thoughts scribbled ahead of my Name...<br />For now...<br />GoodNight....and Sweet Dreams...:)!</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-51763015551851831442012-09-06T01:38:00.001+05:302012-09-06T01:39:55.629+05:30Lone Leaf<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br /><br />In this bitter silence<br /><br />I dangle like a lone leaf<br /><br />Bounded with the thoughts of tomorrow<br /><br />That never put me to sleep<br /><br />Who is there to stand by <br /><br />I wish the name was known <br /><br />And then you realize<br /><br />Its a battle you have to fight on your own<br /><br />Keep away the emotions <br /><br />So even the closest heart in the world would never know<br /><br /><br />How and when got there<br /><br />Pierced by the arrows sent by the times bow<br /><br />In prayer when your tremble<br /><br />And people make you weak<br /><br />Its these harsh moments<br /><br />That willingly guide you to seek<br /><br />What fear will take away<br /><br />Courage will return ten fold<br /><br />The winds that gather then<br /><br />Will no more keep the story untold<br /><br />I watch the clock at first<br /><br />And then turn to the blank side<br /><br />For I'll not let aching wait<br /><br />Turn into a devastating tide<br /><br />Sooo.....<br /><br />In this bitter silence<br /><br />I dangle like a lone leaf<br /><br />Bounded with the thoughts of tomorrow<br /><br />BUT the dreams are mine to keep... </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-68774100983637708952012-09-04T01:03:00.002+05:302012-09-04T01:03:14.528+05:30Hid Myself In The Closet ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hid myself in the closet </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was afraid to come
about..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He stepped in gently </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To guard me and share a few words..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was broken </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Felt like I had lost all the worth..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then a tear rolled…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hadn’t spoken a word..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the eyes said it all..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Woes and worries of a heart..that was waiting to be heard..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I slept off under the sheets of..doubts that crippled my veins..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I watched the emotions get abused..slowly beard the pain</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He caught hold of my hand and placed it next to his heart…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I eventually surrendered my world....that was on the edge of
falling apart..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We spoke for days together…and nights were spent in a wait..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was enchanted by the magic not realising I was times
bait..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then the halt came..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My hands just try now..to catch the pouring rain..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this moment…I wonder if things would ever change..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I heard a mocking laugh…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Coming from the chambers within…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Throwing questions at me.. the speed of which.. drives me
insane..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I stay up all these nights..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And hide away in that closet again…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Somehow a tomorrow stops by… to declare its all in vain..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The shadows are falling now..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The clouds roll in..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He who came gently..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
will he ever come by…?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or is it </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the love ..ever to happen…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Was sealed in a goodbye..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The moon is gracing the heaven </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the stars light up the sky…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll stay awake in my sleep….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the world ..where dreams don’t know to lie….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
p.s. its been such an awful day ...apart from the downpour which is keeping me calm....rest every single thing is messed up....</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
what a start to the week...?!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*rests the head on the pillow*..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I dont even have the stars to kiss me goodnight....</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-8893052259823079642012-08-31T02:18:00.001+05:302012-08-31T02:32:41.881+05:30What Would It Would Have Been IF?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So ..the eighth month of 2012..is hitting the end of the road. Around a month and a half since classes started. New friendships...new dimension ..and new "samples" :P!!<br />
September made things special for me only because of Ganu.<br />
And maybe september WAS special for the rest 22years back. I can bet my money on the fact its changed a hell lot now.<br />
Anyway..I won't go there..unless I plan to have a disturbing night.<br />
Apart from all those ridiculous bits that made me sulk big time today..I am just so glad when I am at college...<br />
New friends.. Fun talks... wonderful learning...and trying to crack the codes in the brain real hard.<br />
Honestly with this course- which I thought would be an amazing creative jaunt- I feel at level zero... far off in the league ..as though I was never a part of this imaginative world before.<br />
I can't say how much..yes how much is there for us to learn. It amazes me time and again ...and the only thing I take back from it..is that we'll remain learners through the rest of our lives.<br />
This week has been crazyyyy..I won't say all that was planned was accomplished...Alot wasn't... and man is the coming week going to be mentally challenging and creatively stimulating and down right hectic OR What..??!...believe me...I kinda shudder at the mere thought.<br />
I had such amazing plans...for work to get done and over..n work to start off..n probably read books..write ..draw...nothinggggggg really came through *cries with a baby face* . I have a PhD in *grumbling and whining*...:P and Double Masters in being a * being a spendthrift*. When I really want to buy something...I want it...yes...I do...and if I don't have that kind of fortune..then... I apply my PhD..:P!<br />
And well there is someone who brings this cute little smile right there on my face and of course I won't say who here;)!! But lets just say... I am being silly all over again. The gait of silly and me...get along so well..ahh the past will narrate it fabulously for your entertainment ....<br />
And before I call it a night<br />
<br />
here are a few more words..<br />
<br />
Unaware and Almost Lost<br />
I was held on to the tips of reality<br />
By a jar of thoughts<br />
And suddenly the balance dropped..<br />
Gravity called it a Win<br />
And once again<br />
I curled up on the sideways of journey<br />
I never wanted to begin<br />
I met those eyes<br />
I saw a smile..<br />
My heart trembled... but..<br />
Feet managed to walk that mile<br />
Tell me now..<br />
Why again<br />
Have I been invited to play this game..<br />
I will lose once again for sure..<br />
Cus I am stolen from myself ..once more<br />
<br />
p.s. Not LOVE ( in this case surely can't be..won't be..)..Just a crush :P:P!!! ...But just in case ..What IF...?!!! :P:P:P!!!<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-10620605848205349622012-08-27T00:12:00.003+05:302012-08-27T00:19:24.227+05:30Peep..before the Sleep..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
wow...!!! Long time eh!<br />
Haha..i enjoy the way we were asked to blog umpteen number of times in our class. Our social media teacher is working her tactics to get us to rip out internet and learn more than Facebook posts.<br />
Talking about the internet..Life somehow seems impossible without it. (ssshhh ..I am Facebook Addict)...<br />
There is so much lying out there ii the vast virtual world to explored. Fun part- the technicality.. to what seems a cake walk... is so difficult and how.<br />
I am enjoying the way my new course is trying to align my Life.<br />
Its whispering into my ears each night..tomorrow..something new, something different..please dollface...search for that creative person and let it loose .<br />
We make mistakes.<br />
Its ridiculous to think we will get it right in the first go itself.<br />
Trying is the only option. It can be tiring , can burn you out, can make you angry ...but once...yes ONCE...it goes all perfect ..you experience a magic.. a magic only and only you could create.<br />
We have been asked to go on a hunt.. to be alert..to count competition..to set a bar higher than the rest and then drag ourselves to it come what may.<br />
Reading, Writing and more...!<br />
I face the mini storms, yes, each day.<br />
But that doesn't ebb my hopes , dreams, ambitions and the desire to achieve stuff that some i know will call.."no never...its impossible..especially with you"..<br />
And my driving lessons give me a slight headache. I am so distracted all the time...but...So happy when the road is wide..long and empty. ( haha i keep thinking about Paul Walker and Vin Diesel super speeedddd and loud music) :P<br />
Its going to be a long week with lotsssss to do.. and lots to plan form the coming month...pheww..<br />
and wow..I miss my friends and gakkai members so much these days..<br />
Anyway birthday is coming and i'll be off for a trip with the college fellas..Hoping to come back with great memories from there...:)!!! eshhhh I don't want to grow up....P.S. I can't stop thinking about my birthday cakeeeeee..:)!!!!!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-59463385647512370962012-07-13T00:35:00.000+05:302012-07-13T00:35:25.479+05:30Criss Cross Happiness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Wow..Its been nearly a month...not that i am an ardent blogger or have learnt the ropes for this particular activity...but still... i return here... return to note down..whats its been like.. so that later ahead when i head back here...i know where i was ..and why...<br />
well...alots been happening...<br />
I am writing this today...because.. its better than looking at some boring soap going on tv... better than waiting for a friend to know.. better than keeping stuff inside.<br />
Exams got over today....and lets say i am absolutely disappointed...not that i should crib over it.. because i never prepared for something which i knew is important... Moms right... I waste alot of time.. a book could be written on it.<br />
Out of 6 i could make it for only 4 papers.. i was half an hour late for each of them.. left 20 marks in all as time ran out... and wrote like as i had never been taught handwriting ever...<br />
I crushes me in my head enough to know the way this examination process treats me each time.<br />
Lets say God wanted to teach me a lesson<br />
I'll atleast pray that some decent marks come my way...<br />
<br />
Thats one part of the story<br />
shouldn't i be happy that exams are over and i can look forward to do other stuff during the month???? ....instead i feel clobbered<br />
and the reason isnt just exams... its a hell lot of things...<br />
No career path chalked out... no job.. no independence... no stability..no patience or dedication ...<br />
It feels like the hardest puzzle ever....<br />
No love found....(I don't think the people i love... will ever care enough to know that i do)<br />
Parents unhappy....<br />
Lives of friends... relatives.... some others...<br />
The vast fields of dreams<br />
and last but not the least.. this massive grip of restlessness ....<br />
never ends...never changes for the better...<br />
Yet admist this....in this deep ditch of mess...where the heart lays injured of so many things being told over and over again... there is some grain..that plugs in not to give up..<br />
It could be a strenuous climb..with too many hurdles... and here.. they keep building on as if they dont have any other work...<br />
There are nights and nights in a row where i dont sleep....and wake up with a heavy head later...<br />
I am certainly lost in this crowd...<br />
Looking for hands to hold..<br />
Foolish enough... to not trust my own feet to lead me...<br />
drugged by many emotions of loved ones...<br />
jealous at times..of the ones who have gotten there first...<br />
its like leaving a unpleasant dream each day.... saying time and again.. this is not the life i ordered...<br />
just holding it all in together.. hoping you dont breakdown... actor in this world afterall...<br />
A mask is on for now...<br />
The walk continues...<br />
But i'll say this..... its never been a steady road...never...<br />
however....if your lucky ..you'll find some seedlings of happiness along the way.....that is..if you aware enough to know that they are...<br />
Whatever this today was about.... and whatever tomorrow may be...<br />
The seedlings take years to turn into a fruitful tree... so lets just stick with that...Hoping that someday.. everything will be different...in an amazing way....<br />
making some sense out of the criss cross happiness..that lead us here....<br />
<br />
Have a sweet weekend...<br />
And i'll just try to be better than ok... :)<br />
Take Care....<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMtWhLMw4YcI9rByI5WXMfV0GVJXBan3Gr-mYemUdD1VTSC3rghze7WUFDFbk5YfWTt46hyphenhyphenr8I3yZnYjuMrNWgmOwg1qGUjCqFDteQlipnBcl75CIt1zzI7GmrOJ0MptFCkVPC6jB1N2Yq/s1600/lonely,girl,miss,you,sad,vintage,alone-abb2af5ed89a777e85ae337199297461_h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="427" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMtWhLMw4YcI9rByI5WXMfV0GVJXBan3Gr-mYemUdD1VTSC3rghze7WUFDFbk5YfWTt46hyphenhyphenr8I3yZnYjuMrNWgmOwg1qGUjCqFDteQlipnBcl75CIt1zzI7GmrOJ0MptFCkVPC6jB1N2Yq/s640/lonely,girl,miss,you,sad,vintage,alone-abb2af5ed89a777e85ae337199297461_h.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-59048913678961809212012-06-11T18:11:00.000+05:302012-06-11T18:11:24.815+05:30I'll Steal You From The Moon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'll steal you from the moon..</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<i><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If thats where you are</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'd Grab all the stars </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And make a string to reach the sky</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And bring you back to where you belong </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Right here</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Its the paradise we once dreamt of</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And dreamt of together</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">While we sat by lake and watched the silver ribbon twirl </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sparkling waters</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Words of whispers and innocent promises of the hearts..</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thats how we were</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And a universe in those eyes</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Did time make a different choice ?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">All things went dim</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Surely ..this is nt right..</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But...hey</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'll steal you from the moon ..</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If thats where you are... :)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiODtmj3SuETq3XvfKV_MCZP_T7MjPELB_J5eR2fmWpWetf-PfDgZmlWEugJQJTJwWxUVxMD-5uCsgcPuySZk8bAl1ffd1kJGP2rOafOzXNNYhzlfXcGOoKWWJa4qPzQljjJrmW6h47-s5e/s1600/483292_10150583437071572_1695229386_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiODtmj3SuETq3XvfKV_MCZP_T7MjPELB_J5eR2fmWpWetf-PfDgZmlWEugJQJTJwWxUVxMD-5uCsgcPuySZk8bAl1ffd1kJGP2rOafOzXNNYhzlfXcGOoKWWJa4qPzQljjJrmW6h47-s5e/s640/483292_10150583437071572_1695229386_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
</span></i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-42615267467140409082012-06-06T00:02:00.001+05:302012-06-06T00:02:59.573+05:30Dainty Darkness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Wow..its been a few days since I came down here to be a bit me .<br />
Where did my teen years just go .. I have no idea..<br />
There were lots of twists and turns though ..final years of school..which meant telling all the babyhood friends bye until we met again. It meant telling all those care free and routine years bye. It meant ..no more being a t a teacher pet. It also meant.. bonding getting stronger , memories to carry , ink day craziness and keeping that uniform alive with all those words, it meant remembering the school prayer for the rest of our lives , all those medals and certificates , all those scoldings and punishments , all the pranks and competitive fun, the responsibilities .. the pat on the back for being a good kid.. ahh.. all wrapped up beautifully and kept in the treasure trove of the heart . Those days meant...Discovering Yourself. :)<br />
Today... its been 7 years.. and now everything is so different. Lives have moved on.. Dreams have changed and Life... continues to throw challenges ..the speedy ones, constantly .<br />
I have always been a bit indecisive.<br />
And this day is no different.<br />
Coming down to age where I am .. Am often lost in a wonder , the list of 'to do'..'to want'.. ' i wish' is soo huge at times, I mean mostly .<br />
The darkness remains.. remains like a unwanted topping over an ice cream.<br />
I whine and complain ..like always.<br />
I crib and criticize .<br />
There are days when I just forget to be thankful .<br />
The questions that the crop up in the mind are another story .<br />
I have watched people search for a peace providing anchor in such situations .. pretty usual.<br />
I have always found a way out of this dark.<br />
Dainty Darkness as I say it....<br />
Its a much requirement ..in my opinion.. , just so that we are able to dig in more and beyond.<br />
Scratch the layers of unknown and watch a potential surface that would bewilder us.<br />
God is always there.. always.. no questioning that. Silent yet a wonderful teacher ..father.. friend.<br />
Just for a moment appreciating this dark.. cause its because of this that we will be able to urge ourselves to reach that light. Its a portion of something we don't wish for.. and yet it occurs over and over again ..just so that we get to know ourselves better.. just so that we plunge into the believing in ourselves and wage through the storm beautifully.<br />
Cases have been ... where people give up.<br />
Its natural.. they are not to be blamed.<br />
But then again.. don't the stars shine in the dark ..?<br />
Haven't the people who have really believed in themselves and worked down every bit of the sweat to get where they want to be .. astonished us time and again.<br />
We all are amazing.. there is no way we would have made it into this world without being that.<br />
Our roles may be different.... are locations may be different.. but we belong somewhere.. where every night for maybe a billion years now..never came in without a morning.<br />
Its nature proving it to you ... you need anything more ?<br />
I am still in this dark... well with regards to academics ..career and a hell lot more..<br />
But there is a strange peace in it.. a sort of re assurance ... that no matter what.... the sunshine will fill up the room of my heart and lead me to a golden palace ..where all that desires resides. :)<br />
This dainty darkness is indeed the time .. to roar with a deeper resolve .. and churn the energy , hard work and determinations into something absolutely beautiful.<br />
There are many lesson to learn along this passage of time.... and this darkness..is a pathway disguised.<br />
I am going to make the most of it. :)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOYLCAjgajn_KdjCKtl58XfIFOrzUwFtKHA1g0jy3TPte3tw5g0GbZAXsDdceJVRGBTvvwz-E1fNbNEKS3OudL88E3Fdy5XxmE0Wp3rppGtlxGtA6xBQz3w1jGrH2z3sVkGseJ2ro5xWd_/s1600/DSC03702.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOYLCAjgajn_KdjCKtl58XfIFOrzUwFtKHA1g0jy3TPte3tw5g0GbZAXsDdceJVRGBTvvwz-E1fNbNEKS3OudL88E3Fdy5XxmE0Wp3rppGtlxGtA6xBQz3w1jGrH2z3sVkGseJ2ro5xWd_/s640/DSC03702.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No harm in being your own sunshine through the dark </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfY2Vlg4IbLKdD7YF7Z1hyphenhyphen_k6kRnpYIH2mf91opaznBk_-qtSQxA40iZrkM3SZoXyHq8ki3i2hnFNNP4Z23TkSCAzHLEAQDSU31hIb82XDnpNxN7mBqxdPQ17JYl6xaXpKXNvU81nYMRJP/s1600/DSC03724.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfY2Vlg4IbLKdD7YF7Z1hyphenhyphen_k6kRnpYIH2mf91opaznBk_-qtSQxA40iZrkM3SZoXyHq8ki3i2hnFNNP4Z23TkSCAzHLEAQDSU31hIb82XDnpNxN7mBqxdPQ17JYl6xaXpKXNvU81nYMRJP/s640/DSC03724.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even the courage to say 'you want to' is a sign of that light </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZs32mGy38nHtDToui8Aqs_AKTPy6nSYT7VdleykoAWfbNjAoTuN-K0v8okEQ4QNlis9U1jyCU7ZhSuk77UWjTPLC0Lk9NqpfGEDYthNE90qqDxszTMl_VBw9x_qz4zDGmOCfkvd5JgMCD/s1600/DSC03778.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZs32mGy38nHtDToui8Aqs_AKTPy6nSYT7VdleykoAWfbNjAoTuN-K0v8okEQ4QNlis9U1jyCU7ZhSuk77UWjTPLC0Lk9NqpfGEDYthNE90qqDxszTMl_VBw9x_qz4zDGmOCfkvd5JgMCD/s640/DSC03778.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Something beautiful about darkness to be rejoiced </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-91601771535358753492012-05-18T14:58:00.000+05:302012-06-05T22:51:19.268+05:30Just Flowers And Leaves<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Well, My Dubai Break Has Been Awesome.<br />
The fact that I couldn't access by blog from there was not cool.<br />
I don't know what to write about that trip and how much.... but I will tell you this , I am amazed at the energy people have, to give life an new direction and meaning each day...to make it purposeful and worth ..to make it enjoyable and example for others. Life is hectic there . Family being there made things easier though. It was good to be in a place where there was so much around to see ..but damn my camera had to fall ill during this trip ...its still not done up and i miss it sorely!!!<br />
This post ..is about the last week in Bombay before I headed for my trip... I just wanted to go around like manic and capture everything I saw..but that wasn't possible. I couldn't hit the beach either. I walked around...Sometimes in the devilish hot summer sun.. and saw these beauties looking back at me with love. God has spent so much time in making this nature ..its colors..its various faces..the seasons...that every single detail...such meticulous work....and what have we accomplished..???!!! Turned into corporate stooges ? Made the tallest tower? Owned the most expensive car?? Yes ..what??!! I won't say I do not have any materialistic desires....But...I am not blind or ungrateful either... that I rate my wants and pleasures at top rank before what what God has created for me...!! I am marveled each time ...and blessed to witness ..touch..capture..and relish the delight of this beauty!! I hope... that some people who look nothing beyond parties ..blowing up money ..doing the wrong..wake up one day.. and look what lies before their eyes...and treasure it...!! Cause frankly...in the years to come..neither do you or I know..what future may give us to see!! Its There Right NOW..AND ITS BEAUTIFUL .....Why Miss It????<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-66460548804576952442012-05-17T00:20:00.001+05:302012-05-17T00:25:16.194+05:30Meanwhile Lets Just Dream<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767"><br /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Meanwhile Lets Just Dream </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Walk Down The Street Of Words</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Written In The Language Only Known To The Heart</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">And Stay Out There For A Bit</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Holding On To What Could Have Been</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Gather The Broken Promises</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">To Fix Them </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Watch How Did We Fall For One Another</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Without The Slightest Clue</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Locked Ourselves In The Warmth Of The Friendship </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">And Oh...The Stories Of Little Mischiefs </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">That Kept Us Close When Eyes Didn't Meet</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">How The Hands Love Cut Down The Aching Distance </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">And Soothed Missingness </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Suddenly Everything Broke Away</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Its Hard To Figure How And Why</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">No More Were The Words Understood</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">All Of It Changed So Soon</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">That It Causes Me Wonder</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">And At Times Question It Too</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Why Did I Ever </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Let Myself Into A World Not Owned By Heart</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">And Ended Up Getting Bruised</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Now The Distance Has Doubled...</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">The Loudest Voice Is Read As Mute</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">I Was Held Together</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">The Pieces Now Crack Into A Million</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">And Orbit Around Me With My Reflection</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Asking Me A Hundred Times ..How Come?</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">This World Has Now Left Me Unsure</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">So Much So ..That Reality Flares Up An Illusion</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Illtreated By The Doubts Left Free From The Confine..</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Thoughts Are Now Feeble </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Memories Drowning In Your Name</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">But..</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Meanwhile Lets Just Dream </a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Walk Down The Street Of Words</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Written In The Language Only Known To The Heart</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">And Stay Out There For A Bit</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767">Holding On To What Could Have Been</a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767"><br /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767"><br /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767"><br /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_497333767"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4PIorGJyQzQ52oVR7jYWV5BzJWMNwDENqprn07T5DurKigyTwl0MkNwLRN1-pd4K4eDMBiUyqbdpHRcNwDND_X2fDFHyPPOkMiO0j7EmLs-18JJujTiJN-eWzh5M-lu3VyAX4EOhK-u5a/s640/beach-dream-love-lyrics-photography-Favim.com-111491.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-30115768851072884432012-04-03T23:28:00.001+05:302012-04-03T23:29:37.356+05:30Wherever She Goes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Where ever she goes<br />
She wants to leave behind<br />
Trail of laughter spun by memories<br />
Lessons learnt along the passage of time<br />
The beauty of Friendship<br />
The giggle in your heart<br />
The dreams of tomorrow<br />
Her talks.. random like her<br />
Her mischief that could leave you in awe<br />
Her eyes ..where your smiling face resides<br />
Her words that could keep you warm through the winter<br />
The jewel of her love that would keep you shining through the dark<br />
Her wish ..that you always remain happy<br />
Who said she isn't crazy<br />
And life hasn't driven her insane?<br />
She still needs learning<br />
And she still needs you<br />
But when your hopes crumble<br />
She will still be around<br />
Holding you with the strength of her prayers<br />
Wiping those tears<br />
When the fear walks in<br />
Listen to her whispers ..they'll tell you not to give up<br />
And when it rains down..<br />
Imagine she is looking at you<br />
Smiling in her heart<br />
Watching you embrace life with love<br />
For where ever she goes<br />
She'll carry you along<br />
Just like the sky..look up to you with love<br />
In her Universe ..now you belong ..<br />
Where ever she goes...she will still be with you!! :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wherever she goes :)!</td></tr>
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-68537437746361325002012-04-02T03:10:00.002+05:302012-04-03T23:33:45.980+05:30Bicycle Days !<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">April's first week has walked in wearing a bright sunny (baking us into cookies) weather ..here in Bombay.<br />
I quit my job early last week...temp job I mean ..(wait ...was that even a job?), as I had to leave for holiday In this week. And ...Now ..its 2.45am ..Monday Morning..My college assignment questions have been uploaded but I don't even want to look at them . My holiday tickets are ready ...and yes..now they will have to delayed , I don't want to lug the tension of assignments there after all. I will have to carry the books though. The TV is on mute , The sound of the fan and the A/c, My new phone which is so hard to figure (right now at least) , The grip of the feeling called - Jealousy (don't ask me why). Lots be done before I leave for my short vacation..and a hell lot more to be done and learnt when I am back . Career to be decided .. Job location..University /College ( incase I want to study further) , Driving , Cooking , Art (hopeully) ..AND a longggggggg list...<br />
<br />
Take me back to the land called - "10 years ago".. and this time was vacation time...!! meeting up with friends, chilling, no rush of future, no concrete dreams , easy life (it still is) , school crushes , movies , early to bed..early to rise , no sense of gucci ...or dior, nothing like " I dont want to meet them or talk to them ..cus I have no answer to ' what are you upto in life?' " , the statement like - "when will I make my own money?" or "I am such a irresponsible person"..never dared to crop up then. Of course things have changed now...I mean When I see my younger sister at that same place...there is a massive difference. Youth is more aware today , more indulgent , more like rebellious go -getters , stylish -back- answering ..dudes and chicks.. also I won't miss out on calling them as the herd of black-berryans, ..the facebook and twitter is so normal, late night parties , sleepovers , the royal blue and hot red, the spiked hair and cars with loud music ...ohh I could go on. (but amongst these wild and varied tech savvy teens of today still lies a segment of them ..that understands and behaves in a matured manner , is responsible , works down every bit of the sweat to own thier dreams, encourages and manages to shine as an example ). Everything back then for me was a relaxed scene ...no this sort of drama as such. I think (no its not generation gap ) its just the load of ' what the society sees us as ...and based on that how we judge ourselves '<br />
I am here today...22...crawling to 23.. looking back and thinking ...If that childhood just cameback...yes...my friends..my family , my life....cartoons, maggi , playing downstairs , listening to grand ma (dadi ) tell stories , short visits at my grandma'splace (nani)..playing with her pet- roxy...my slim self...no worry of ' I really need to get going with my life now '..the rain dance... the bicycle rides with music on walkman on ...yes...I wish I could re live it ...yes I do.<br />
If I say.. I don't have regrets...I'd be lying. But...yes the fact is..someday you have dust yourself, stand up and walk on ..for you never know... may be what's worth yet awaits your joyous arrival...<br />
I have plenty of dreams and sometimes when I think about it.. the thought of "How will I accomplish them?'...exhausts me.<br />
The moments of past don't return (unless history plans to repeat itself)..:P and yes the tomorrow hinges upon today. I think I have to begin my journey by lighting up the street with the word called "Believe"...<br />
It's a powerful thing ..I have heard.<br />
So I am going to give it a try .. again ...:)!!!<br />
<br />
This picture ..outside the mall out here took me back to my 'school girl' days. I used to love riding the bicycle then. Yes, I do want to ride it. I don't know if it can handle my weight now..:P but as I said ..I'll give it a try..and Believe that's its going to be Fab!!<br />
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Have a Great Week .<br />
Take Care<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-37485797471692192742012-03-29T02:15:00.002+05:302012-03-29T10:50:50.977+05:30Love Story.......Where do I begin..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">The First Book read... Love Story...yes Love story.<br />
Just walking by the hill road ..it was post 7 in the evening. I saw a man selling second hand books. I held my dad's hand and said "I want that"..yes..it was the novel titled - Love Story ..<br />
well ..papa gave me that look which clearly said in the unspoken (beta..you always buy these books and magazines but never read any ) and i gave papa..the innocent, angelic look..;) and there.. i had the book.....<br />
Ask Mom..she'll tell you for how long has she been trying to get me to read. yes... i am not a reader...but i do read what i like. I just fear books a bit.<br />
But..I said come what may..I have to read this book. And i promised myself a tiny reward for it too. Well..I can't tell you how much i love this book...afterall.. i owed the reading to my favourite signature tune..that belongs to the movie made on the book.<br />
yes..Oliver Barrett IV owns my heart. I have never stayed awake to read a book. infact it's always been the opposite. I smiled...giggled with yawns and sleepy eyes..said awww so many times...ran my fingers over the words where i could relate...and was left moist eyes in the end.<br />
Love has different meanings for different people... I am still to discover what it means to me.<br />
All i can..wish...is...I hope this Erich Segal book..marks my beginning into the world...that i have heard about...but never taken the effort to venture...<br />
To Me...Oliver Barrett IV..some smiles...some thoughts..<br />
"let's run" ..she said..<br />
"lets stay and fight " I said.<br />
p.s. One day...Someone..who'll cast my fear and worries away..and if not.....well..we will have plenty of smiles to fill the room of time. :)!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip3bvbaHM9OZw-9vs_t6VVoh49nEuO2pNbXGv2RX6WY7wuq49RgwfDho3DtvXVybVv9bbu1gdxkuYqw6XrAJj9haBw8LSKxKBPEh_2VK0JLzKVO7YSqig1LePmF6SyTuUTPGLMO-qF8ycQ/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip3bvbaHM9OZw-9vs_t6VVoh49nEuO2pNbXGv2RX6WY7wuq49RgwfDho3DtvXVybVv9bbu1gdxkuYqw6XrAJj9haBw8LSKxKBPEh_2VK0JLzKVO7YSqig1LePmF6SyTuUTPGLMO-qF8ycQ/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my reward for reading the book</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyUyHV8r_8DpzEE-3qFK_HWXAmiz5xjPSOmuedLJdbSBGLLyFBUYeDIFTAvmMTPXi0hMW-KZhEIwNUvp_u-_zYf1st2A_WxjYNGOe5vjSbdG09Q08_DfiTZo4XAcDhNMitJPGyfv3OT7Oh/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyUyHV8r_8DpzEE-3qFK_HWXAmiz5xjPSOmuedLJdbSBGLLyFBUYeDIFTAvmMTPXi0hMW-KZhEIwNUvp_u-_zYf1st2A_WxjYNGOe5vjSbdG09Q08_DfiTZo4XAcDhNMitJPGyfv3OT7Oh/s640/3.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I smiled. How she loved simple things in life"..- one of my fav lines from the book. :)</td></tr>
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-51081459357268776192012-03-26T01:10:00.000+05:302012-03-26T01:10:49.433+05:30A Day to Remember :D!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Yes..that day..or evening rather...was beautiful and extremely special.<br />
I had sent across a letter to my mentor -Daisaku Ikeda..and I had sent it so that I could share my struggle and victory too. Honestly I never thought or hoped for anything beyond. He being in Japan , praying day in day out for all the wonderful members of SGI all over the world, not failing to send encouragement , writing to reach out to us and just being there in the most amazing way. When I started off this practice (Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism ) I never knew where it will lead me.. and today I am here saying ..whatever the destination..the journey is worth and beautiful . Its right when people say it's a life affirming philosophy :)! so coming back to that day- Friday- The twenty third of this month...when I was busy sleeping like a log due to the tiring day I had..the phone rang ..the number was unknown..but God bless my senses for answering that call ..<br />
A unknown voice spoke...and my only replies were like.....yes...YES....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! THANK YOUUUUUUUUU!!!<br />
YES...my MENTOR ..HAD REPLIED to my message....!!!!!!!!:)))))))))) honestly I had never thought that it will happen....but it did....did I not mention ...I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo Glad :)!<br />
one year ago..March 23rd 2011...was the day..when my battle towards my health began..n the reply coming from him exactly on that day..around that time...is purely mystic.<br />
Well...When you believe ..then what is there that cannot be achieved ..!!<br />
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I am here today..Life is not a sorted place! well even a movie needs elements of variety to be interesting...why should Life be far off in the league then. I know...that One day when I look back..I'll be proud of the life I have lived..Yes..ONE DAY!! :):)!!!<br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-15680727145881245642012-03-24T01:19:00.000+05:302012-03-24T01:19:11.199+05:30Dad...and the Dragon Pen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Well, Ever since Mom gifted me the Dragon- look pen...and Papa placed a bargain , I knew .. I surely won't give this pen to Dad. Yes, I like fighting with my Dad. We are like friends...not best friends...but good friends for sure. There are days when I drive him to his wits end. But I look back...it's like a picture I can carry along. My papa has been my hero..my support..the man who didn't refuse me bike rides as kid..the man who still wonderfully takes care of me..and yes the man to whom I tied two pony tails as kid..and did head massages with my tiny fingers. Now I am just a grown up who likes to throw her weight around. Be Bossy..be mean..be cute..be loving..be ME! yes...we quarrel...like really quarrel ...it could be for diaries , remote, chocolates..you name it boss. But I am happy to share this comfortable relationship with my Dad. I know for a matter of fact that he is the only one in this whole wide world..who watched me cry and smile for the first time. Who held my baby fingers and taught me how to walk. My life would be like a purposeless universe without both my parents. I till date thank him for marrying Mom. She has a gorgeous heart. Look ..I am not trying to come accross as someone..who is the best possible child. I have been a bad kid on some occasions , nothing drastic though...I have had my set of fights and dealt with misunderstandings...and Boy..the battle continues. But I am just here to say..I am still very much the little girl...(maybe I don't have a large heart like them).. but I am here...and they on the highest pedestal in my heart..like the ocean of love ..and their warmth just brings me back to a wonderful me. I wake up to experience Life each day because of them .<br />
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To where I started from..yes that pen..well my dad never got that...it was my gift no? but when I walked into the shop and saw a bigger better dragon pen...the first word that roared in my heart was DAD!!<br />
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here..is the picture..:) Like Dragon Daughter...Dragon Dad..;)!! yes...he finally got the pen..:)<br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-36189965873453423602012-03-19T21:04:00.000+05:302012-03-19T21:04:20.985+05:30Dub Sound and Skittles<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">14th March 2012.. I walked into this tiny apartment turned into a studio , hoping I would get the job and learn something new. A small room where the dubbing happens and the next room where the mixing happens and a tiny passage outside ..my space to wonder and type. I wasn't alone, I do know someone at my work place, my Mums's friend..so I do have company. :)<br />
I hate the way I can be judgmental . I hoped for my boss to be an extremely confident and knowing the tact of handling stuff..turns out she ain't that - Oh so wow! But well I hope as we go along...we both learn something from one another. She hasn't been rude to me yet..and she better not..I haven't done anything stupid to get her mad at me.<br />
So it's been 5 days so far- ask me if I want this job and I'll say- you know...I don't really know. It's creative of course, I am getting to learn too..well lets say like writing roman Hindi for the past week...haha..my national language puts me in such a dilemma. But its nice. Not a management drag job yet. Its good to experience different things in life..just like my last job which was nearly two weeks...as an assistant to a designer. I just need to grow up to believe that confusion at times can make life fun and fabulous :P<br />
2nd day at the job and my boss asked me to go into the dubbing room and "lend my voice".. trust me I froze. Though I have always wanted to do a voice over ..but haha...My nervousness just killed the 'dubbing luck'..:P a flat voice, speaking at a fast train speed..and man how can you catch up with the expressions when you gotta speak so fast.?:P haha...I wanna go in for training for dubbing...God willing one day! I had a classic expression on my face when I heard the dubbed voice...I was in absolute denial...haha I didn't like my voice at all. :P well, one day..I 'll get there. Thank God that voice didn't go in for the final dub . My mum's friend and I ..have been upto scripting for now...The Adrenaline Project Season 2. My shoulder hurts and eyes droop reading and writing..so much..yawwnnn. But I guess it's just a paragraph in this chapter.<br />
All this while someone else too kept me company...the Skittles of course... a sweet girl needs something / someone who understands her. I guess sweets just fit in right! :)<br />
I couldnt get the pictures from the mixing room and the one from the dubbing room ain't that clear..but well, one day..when my boss isn't around and the dubbing room is not occupied...I'll quickly get better pictures. For now...Some Skittles and back to scripting .<br />
You have a great weeeekkk :)<br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1975562195503460829.post-35025961764965346702012-03-14T23:59:00.000+05:302012-03-14T23:59:38.150+05:30The December Wedding<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Weddings have always been a very boring affair for me. I enjoyed them as a kid though. I hate the whole idea of dressing up and going there just to put up a plastic smile and eat food ( I am not very experimental with food that I should enjoy that bit). Of course people who know you will walk up to you and talk..or may be NOT. I mean there aren't even great guys to look at and when they are there... I am not at that function :P I am still a kid ..who'd prefer staying home in the loose clothes , hair done up in a messy bun, walk around the house or watch something interesting on t.v. or listen to music..or may be just do something else. I find myself alone at weddings..not a part of it. well, if the dessert is tempting ..I do find a friend in them for may be a few minutes. People even try to keep harping .."Now you should get married"..I just don't know what to say to them...I shoot them with a bullet in my thoughts though ...ahh how wish there was a mute button for that minute .<br />
I remember being at this wedding in the family during December. And it was by the beach...how I wanted to take off my shoes and walk on the cold sand beneath the gorgeous moonlit sky that night. The pleasant winter wind fiddling with my hair left me thinking ..How I wish I had someone by myside...I don't need his words.. but his silence , the warm love in the eyes, some smiles and stories whispered by one heart to another...really how I wish..<br />
And then I thought....this wedding is really pushing me over to that platform where I don't want to be. Here I am now.. three months later...still thinking..why that night left me with that question mark in bold . I am not on a hunt for a prince charming or a greek god....or a geek god either haha...May be just someone who cares enough to understand, is there to love , brings surprises and makes me laugh...when tears had plans to roll down.<br />
Here's to the lines I like which Minnie Mouse says to Daisy Duck...<br />
Minnie: Just imagine. He'll stride into the room. Light will glow from him. I'll hear music. He'll bring me flowers. And he'll sweep me off my feet. And I'll know he's the one, when he makes me laugh. <div><br />
</div><div>This is a memory from that day.. at the place where the wedding was held....a painting.</div><div><br />
</div><div>She waits......</div><div><br />
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</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0