Just Flowers And Leaves

Well, My Dubai Break Has Been Awesome.
The fact that I couldn't access by blog from there was not cool.
I don't know what to write about that trip and how much.... but I will tell you this , I am amazed at the energy people have, to give life an new direction and meaning each day...to make it purposeful and worth ..to make it enjoyable and example for others. Life is hectic there . Family being there made things easier though. It was good to be in a place where there was so much around to see ..but damn my camera had to fall ill during this trip ...its still not done up and i miss it sorely!!!
This post ..is about the last week in Bombay before I headed for my trip... I just wanted to go around like manic and capture everything I saw..but that wasn't possible. I couldn't hit the beach either. I walked around...Sometimes in the devilish hot summer sun.. and saw these beauties looking back at me with love. God has spent so much time in making this nature ..its colors..its various faces..the seasons...that every single detail...such meticulous work....and what have we accomplished..???!!! Turned into corporate stooges ? Made the tallest tower? Owned the most expensive car?? Yes ..what??!! I won't say I do not have any materialistic desires....But...I am not blind or ungrateful either... that I rate my wants and pleasures at top rank before what what God has created for me...!! I am marveled each time ...and blessed to witness ..touch..capture..and relish the delight of this beauty!! I hope... that some people who look nothing beyond parties ..blowing up money ..doing the wrong..wake up one day.. and look what lies before their eyes...and treasure it...!! Cause frankly...in the years to come..neither do you or I know..what future may give us to see!! Its There Right NOW..AND ITS BEAUTIFUL .....Why Miss It????

Meanwhile Lets Just Dream

Meanwhile Lets Just Dream


Walk Down The Street Of Words


Written In The Language Only Known To The Heart


And Stay Out There For A Bit


Holding On To What Could Have Been


Gather The Broken Promises


To Fix Them


Watch How Did We Fall For One Another


Without The Slightest Clue


Locked Ourselves In The Warmth Of The Friendship


And Oh...The Stories Of Little Mischiefs


That Kept Us Close When Eyes Didn't Meet


How The Hands Love Cut Down The Aching Distance


And Soothed Missingness


Suddenly Everything Broke Away


Its Hard To Figure How And Why


No More Were The Words Understood


All Of It Changed So Soon


That It Causes Me Wonder


And At Times Question It Too


Why Did I Ever


Let Myself Into A World Not Owned By Heart


And Ended Up Getting Bruised


Now The Distance Has Doubled...


The Loudest Voice Is Read As Mute


I Was Held Together


The Pieces Now Crack Into A Million


And Orbit Around Me With My Reflection


Asking Me A Hundred Times ..How Come?


This World Has Now Left Me Unsure


So Much So ..That Reality Flares Up An Illusion


Illtreated By The Doubts Left Free From The Confine..


Thoughts Are Now Feeble


Memories Drowning In Your Name


But..


Meanwhile Lets Just Dream


Walk Down The Street Of Words


Written In The Language Only Known To The Heart


And Stay Out There For A Bit


Holding On To What Could Have Been

Wherever She Goes

Where ever she goes
She wants to leave behind
Trail of laughter spun by memories
Lessons learnt along the passage of time
The beauty of Friendship
The giggle in your heart
The dreams of tomorrow
Her talks.. random like her
Her mischief that could leave you in awe
Her eyes ..where your smiling face resides
Her words that could keep you warm through the winter
The jewel of her love that would keep you shining through the dark
Her wish ..that you always remain happy
Who said she isn't crazy
And life hasn't driven her insane?
She still needs learning
And she still needs you
But when your hopes crumble
She will still be around
Holding you with the strength of her prayers
Wiping those tears
When the fear walks in
Listen to her whispers ..they'll tell you not to give up
And when it rains down..
Imagine she is looking at you
Smiling in her heart
Watching you embrace life with love
For where ever she goes
She'll carry you along
Just like the sky..look up to you with love
In her Universe ..now you belong ..
Where ever she goes...she will still be with you!! :)

Wherever she goes :)!

Bicycle Days !

April's first week has walked in wearing a bright sunny (baking us into cookies) weather ..here in Bombay.
I quit my job early last week...temp job I mean ..(wait ...was that even a job?), as I had to leave for holiday In this week. And ...Now  ..its 2.45am ..Monday Morning..My  college assignment questions have been uploaded but I don't even want to  look at them . My holiday tickets are ready ...and yes..now they will have to delayed , I don't want to lug the tension of assignments there after all. I will have to carry the books though. The TV is on mute , The sound of the fan and the A/c, My new phone which is so hard to figure (right now at least) , The grip of the feeling called -  Jealousy (don't ask me why). Lots be done before I leave for my short vacation..and a hell lot more to be done and learnt when I am back . Career to be decided .. Job location..University /College ( incase  I want to study further) , Driving , Cooking , Art (hopeully) ..AND a longggggggg list...

Take me back  to the land called - "10 years ago".. and this time was  vacation time...!! meeting up with friends, chilling, no rush of future, no concrete dreams , easy life (it still is) , school crushes , movies , early to bed..early to rise , no sense of gucci ...or dior, nothing like " I dont want to meet them or talk to them ..cus I have no answer to ' what are you upto in life?' " , the statement like - "when will I make my own money?" or "I am such a irresponsible person"..never dared to crop up then. Of course things have changed now...I mean When I see my younger sister at that same place...there is a massive difference. Youth is more aware today , more indulgent , more like rebellious go -getters , stylish -back- answering ..dudes and chicks.. also I won't miss out on calling them as the herd of black-berryans, ..the facebook and twitter is so normal, late night parties , sleepovers , the royal blue and hot red, the spiked hair and cars with loud music ...ohh I could go on. (but amongst these wild and varied  tech savvy teens of today still lies a segment  of them ..that understands and behaves in a matured manner , is responsible , works down every bit of the sweat to own thier dreams, encourages and manages to shine as an example ). Everything back then for me was a relaxed scene ...no this sort of drama as such. I think  (no its not generation gap ) its just the load of  ' what the society sees us as ...and based on that how we judge ourselves '
I am here today...22...crawling to 23.. looking back and thinking ...If that childhood just cameback...yes...my friends..my family , my life....cartoons, maggi , playing downstairs , listening to grand ma (dadi ) tell stories , short visits at my  grandma'splace (nani)..playing with her pet- roxy...my slim self...no worry of ' I really need to get going with my life now '..the rain dance... the bicycle rides with music on walkman on ...yes...I wish I could re live it ...yes I do.
If I say.. I don't have regrets...I'd be lying. But...yes the fact is..someday you have dust yourself, stand up and walk on ..for you never know... may be what's worth yet awaits your joyous arrival...
I have plenty of dreams and sometimes when I think about it.. the thought of  "How will I accomplish them?'...exhausts me.
The moments of past don't return (unless history plans to repeat itself)..:P and yes the tomorrow hinges upon today. I think I have to begin my journey by lighting up the street with the word called "Believe"...
It's a powerful thing ..I have heard.
So I am going to give it a try .. again ...:)!!!

This picture ..outside the mall out here took me back to my 'school girl' days. I used to love riding the bicycle then. Yes, I do want to ride it.  I don't know if it can handle my weight now..:P but as I said ..I'll give it a try..and Believe that's its going to be Fab!!

Have a Great Week .
Take Care

Love Story.......Where do I begin..

The First Book read... Love Story...yes Love story.
Just walking by the hill road ..it was post 7 in the evening. I saw a man selling second hand books. I held my dad's hand and said "I want that"..yes..it was the novel titled - Love Story ..
well ..papa gave  me that look which clearly said in the unspoken (beta..you always buy these books and magazines but never read any ) and i gave papa..the innocent, angelic look..;) and there.. i had the book.....
Ask Mom..she'll tell you for how long has she been trying to get me to read. yes... i am not a reader...but i do read what i like. I just fear books a bit.
But..I said come what may..I have to read this book. And i promised myself a tiny reward for it too. Well..I can't tell you how much i love this book...afterall.. i owed the reading to my favourite signature tune..that belongs to the movie made on the book.
yes..Oliver Barrett IV owns my heart. I have never stayed awake to read a book. infact it's always been the opposite. I smiled...giggled with yawns and sleepy eyes..said awww so many times...ran my fingers over the words where i could relate...and was left moist eyes in the end.
Love has different meanings for different people... I am still to discover what it means to me.
All i can..wish...is...I hope this Erich Segal book..marks my beginning into the world...that i have heard about...but never taken the effort to venture...
To Me...Oliver Barrett IV..some smiles...some thoughts..
"let's run" ..she said..
"lets stay and fight " I said.
p.s. One day...Someone..who'll cast my fear and worries  away..and if not.....well..we will have plenty of smiles to fill the room of time. :)!

my reward for reading the book

"I smiled. How she loved simple things in life"..- one of my fav lines from the book. :)

A Day to Remember :D!

Yes..that day..or evening rather...was beautiful and extremely special.
I had sent across a letter to my mentor -Daisaku Ikeda..and I had sent it so that I could share my struggle and victory too. Honestly I never thought or hoped for anything beyond. He being in Japan , praying day in day out for all the wonderful members of SGI all over the world, not failing to send encouragement , writing to reach out to us and just being there in the most amazing way. When I started off this practice (Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism ) I never knew where it will lead me.. and today I am here saying ..whatever the destination..the journey is worth and beautiful . Its right when people say it's a life affirming philosophy :)! so coming back to that day- Friday- The twenty third of this month...when I was busy sleeping like a log due to the tiring day I had..the phone rang ..the number was unknown..but God bless my senses for answering that call ..
A unknown voice spoke...and my only replies were like.....yes...YES....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! THANK YOUUUUUUUUU!!!
YES...my MENTOR ..HAD REPLIED to my message....!!!!!!!!:)))))))))) honestly I had never thought that it will happen....but it did....did  I not mention ...I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo Glad :)!
one year ago..March 23rd 2011...was the day..when my battle towards my health began..n the reply coming from him exactly on that day..around that time...is purely mystic.
Well...When you believe ..then what is there that cannot be achieved ..!!

I am here today..Life is not a sorted place! well even a movie needs elements of variety to be interesting...why should Life be far off in the league then. I know...that One day when I look back..I'll be proud of the life  I have lived..Yes..ONE DAY!! :):)!!!

Dad...and the Dragon Pen

Well, Ever since Mom gifted me the Dragon- look pen...and Papa placed a bargain , I knew .. I surely won't give this pen to Dad. Yes, I like fighting with my Dad. We are like friends...not best friends...but good friends for sure. There are days when I drive him to his wits end. But  I look back...it's like a picture I can carry along. My papa has been my hero..my support..the man who didn't refuse me bike rides as kid..the man who still wonderfully takes care of me..and yes the man to whom I tied two pony tails as kid..and did head massages with my tiny fingers. Now I am just a grown up who likes to throw her weight around. Be Bossy..be mean..be cute..be loving..be ME! yes...we quarrel...like really quarrel ...it could be for diaries , remote, chocolates..you name it boss. But I am happy to share this comfortable relationship  with my Dad. I know for a matter of fact that he is the only one in this whole wide world..who watched me cry and smile for the first time. Who held my baby fingers and taught me how to walk. My life would be like a purposeless universe without both my parents. I till date thank him for marrying Mom. She has a gorgeous heart. Look ..I am not trying to come accross as someone..who is the best possible child. I have been a bad kid on some occasions , nothing drastic though...I have had my set of fights and dealt with misunderstandings...and Boy..the battle continues. But I am just here to say..I am still very much the little girl...(maybe I don't have a large heart like them).. but I am here...and they on the highest pedestal in my heart..like the ocean of love ..and their warmth just brings me back to a wonderful me. I wake up to experience Life each day because of them .

To where I started from..yes that pen..well my dad never got that...it was my gift no? but when I walked into the shop and saw a bigger better dragon pen...the first word that roared in my heart was DAD!!

here..is the picture..:) Like Dragon Daughter...Dragon Dad..;)!! yes...he finally got the pen..:)

Dub Sound and Skittles

14th March 2012.. I walked into this tiny apartment turned into a studio , hoping I would get the job and learn something new. A small room where the dubbing happens and the next room where the mixing happens and a tiny passage outside ..my space to wonder and type. I wasn't alone, I do know someone at my work place, my Mums's friend..so I do have company. :)
I hate the way I can be judgmental . I hoped for my boss to be an extremely confident and knowing the tact of handling stuff..turns out she ain't that - Oh so wow! But well I hope as we go along...we both learn something from one another. She hasn't been rude to me yet..and she better not..I haven't done anything stupid to get her mad at me.
So it's been 5 days so far- ask me if I want this job and I'll say- you know...I don't really know. It's creative of course, I am getting to learn too..well lets say like writing roman Hindi for the past week...haha..my national language puts me in such a dilemma. But its nice. Not a  management drag job yet. Its good to experience different things in life..just like my last job which was nearly two weeks...as an assistant to a designer. I just need to grow up to believe that confusion at times can make life fun and fabulous :P
2nd day at the job and my boss asked me to go into the dubbing room and "lend my voice".. trust me I froze. Though I have always wanted to do a voice over ..but haha...My nervousness just killed the 'dubbing luck'..:P a flat voice, speaking at a fast train speed..and man how can you catch up with the expressions when you gotta speak so fast.?:P haha...I wanna go in for training for dubbing...God willing one day! I had a classic expression on my face when I heard the dubbed voice...I was in absolute denial...haha I didn't like my voice at all. :P well, one day..I 'll get there. Thank God that voice didn't go in for the final dub .  My mum's friend  and I ..have been upto scripting for now...The Adrenaline Project Season 2.  My shoulder hurts and eyes droop reading and writing..so much..yawwnnn. But I guess it's just a paragraph in this chapter.
All this while someone else too kept me company...the Skittles of course... a sweet girl needs something / someone who understands her. I guess sweets just fit in right! :)
I couldnt get the pictures from the mixing room and the one from the dubbing room ain't that clear..but well, one day..when my boss isn't around and the dubbing room is not occupied...I'll quickly get better pictures. For now...Some Skittles and back to scripting .
You have a great weeeekkk :)

The December Wedding

Weddings have always been a very boring affair for me. I enjoyed them as a kid though. I hate the whole idea of dressing up and going there just to put up a plastic smile and eat food ( I am not very experimental with food that I should enjoy that bit). Of course people who know you will walk up to you and talk..or may be NOT. I mean there aren't even great guys to look at and when they are there... I am not at that function :P I am still a kid ..who'd prefer staying home in the loose clothes , hair done up in a messy bun, walk around the house or watch something interesting on t.v. or listen to music..or may be just do something else. I find myself alone at weddings..not a part of it. well, if the dessert is tempting ..I do find a friend in them for may be a few minutes. People even try to keep harping .."Now you should get married"..I just don't know what to say to them...I shoot them with a bullet in my thoughts though ...ahh how wish there was a mute button for that minute .
I remember being at this wedding in the family during December. And it was by the beach...how I wanted to take off my shoes and walk on the cold sand beneath the gorgeous moonlit sky that night. The pleasant winter wind fiddling with my hair left me thinking ..How I wish  I had someone by myside...I don't need  his words.. but his silence , the warm love in the eyes, some smiles and stories whispered by one heart to another...really how I wish..
And then I thought....this wedding is really pushing me over to that platform where I don't want to be. Here I am now.. three months later...still thinking..why that night left me with that question mark in bold . I am not on a hunt for a prince charming or a greek god....or a geek god either haha...May be just someone who cares enough to understand, is there to love , brings surprises and makes me laugh...when tears had plans to roll down.
Here's to the lines I like which Minnie Mouse says to Daisy Duck...
Minnie: Just imagine. He'll stride into the room. Light will glow from him. I'll hear music. He'll bring me flowers. And he'll sweep me off my feet. And I'll know he's the one, when he makes me laugh.

This is a memory from that day.. at the place where the wedding was held....a painting.

She waits......

A Random Monday

Today has been such a lousy day.
The terrible lower back pain and then of course my phone wanted to go for a swim , not caring about the "dare you do that" sign.
It's been a random day. Messy room..(which is now clean), the hugeeeeeeeee list of pending work , chocolates that don't call out, the camera is asleep  and my mind is in a lost jungle. Monday Blues ?? Well, I am not working yet so weekend or weekdays doesn't really matter... the blue, pinks, yellow and fellows :P haven't yet made their way into my day yet. And you bet I don't want them. But this grey stuck around...and stuck around like a empty frame...Should  I be thankless for the black bit..or thankful for the white..it leaves me confused. Appreciation is a hard job ..:P
I just picked up a few pastels and ended up doing this..
I don't know what it is...or what it depicts ...
But I do know... I desperately need to get back to art ...cus my imagination is going to the dogs lately and my patterns don't seem to find a way. haha...The head is such a miraculous place....everything at times is so perfect there until it really happens ...:P

This Monday has indeed signed into my life with some trouble ..and I could bet my money on the fact..it won't leave me for a while.

I hope you start / started your week  on a better note. Take care.