Holi: Bonfire

Every Year as summer approaches the city and the calendar turns to March..One thing is sure of..Holi is coming.
I remember how as a kid my grandma use to tell me the story of Holi  and I use to love it each time. Prahlad's unfading devotion in Lord Vishnu talks to me till today.
Prayers do reach out the Almighty. You just have to keep the faith going. God always listens to you..even your murmurs ..even your guilt..even your deepest wishes..all your promises.. all your worries ..all your sorries..just all of it. He listens to you when you are angry..when you are in pain ..even when you are in love..
He patiently listens...he guides, teaches, protects and holds you in his heart...He accepts you and never abandons you.
As I stood there yesterday before the bonfire ..people from different castes came together and performed the ritual . Every one had their way of going about the whole thing. It made think no matter the differences ..there are still things which bind us together...be it a festival..a purpose or just Love. Unity can definitely border a whole you meaning to a "I". There is something about togetherness....isn't it? ..Lets cherish it :)

Take care :)

My Name

Tell me how did this dream begin


And what gave it fuel


Tell me how i landed up


Where i never thought i would


And when the idea never struck before..


How come i walked all this way to know..


That something was there or else why the fate would play this game


And why my world stops to cherish the moment when i hear him say My Name

The Sound Of The BELL

Sometimes we are so caught up in the daily motion of our lives that we fail to look around and stitch beauties with what we have and wander in the outside world waiting for a response to our liking.
There is something about lying on the bed each night and asking "Did I miss out on anything today?"..
Unanswered questions always lead to a deeper search, I believe .
The morning is about setting aside the notions of 'just another day' and rather focusing on 'what can be done with this day '..
I have always wanted to travel , learn new things and explore but who said laziness isn't a devil? With confusion ranking high at the place where I am right now ..I find myself at the beginning of a rainbow...everything calls out..everything is so beautiful...But...Where do I head? which way? and How?
I search..and search for the answers outside..but how often do I listen to the voice within? Rarely...
Today I found this bell...which had been my favourite once...and when my eyes fell upon it today after long...I fell in love with it once again. I remember this bell was bought by my uncle and how every member in the family tried to give themselves a chance to get the sound right.  It's pretty tough to use , honestly , its tiring as well...but..if done right, the sound ..Oh Wow...!!! :)
Isn't that the same with us too? To get the best results can be a tedious task but if we give up, the worth of trying  won't be known at all. Its really easy to opt for a shorter climb but the real joy is only attained when we are able to scale great heights. I don't say overlook the small efforts taken. No. Never. They make the pathway to something bigger and better.
Enough of giving the outside world a chance...Listen to the sound WITHIN... !!!

Take care :)

This moment here and now

This moment here and now
Tells me a story I have heard before
But just when I am about to let its essence seep in
It disappears in no time
The empty road..I must walk to find it again
But a name this time shall bring it to me
And bring along with it the poetry of his heart
The music of unsaid words
That weave a spell around me as time arches these distances
The map to follow ..is just an excuse
When the hand I hold then ..is the 'everywhere' I have ever wanted to go
This moment here and now....

Snowy

Meet snowy...
While  I was at my sisters examination center and the crowd of parents kept increasing, I decided to spend time with this white precious gentleman holding quiet a pose there.
He was extremely friendly and so loving.
He came to see off his dear friend Sumana and wish her luck.
I couldn't help but go down on my knees and tell him I love you a several times...Man he loved the pampering.
The anxiousness around and this amazing friend there..haha..what a contrast.
No matter how super genius we humans become..we still need to learn soooo much from these animals.
Of course they have their mood swings and certain characteristics but still....their love is amazing.
Just sooo accepting are they. They are not concerned where do you come from , what job you have, what degree you have....nothing of those. They are just there to love you and be loved. ....Also...to leave you astonished at times...haha...
I eagerly wait for that day when I'll have my own ...loving pet !!!

Snowy's quick photo shoot :)

Nostalgia

Had things been okay yesterday... i would have posted about this..
I guess i just wasn't in the frame..
Well, never mind...
So as 2nd  March arrived ..i was woken up by my sisters voice...."fatty wake up...you have to come with me and see me off before i go in for my exams "...haha... i sleep in the morning...better if i say london timings..:P my friends will agree...
so i had to drag myself out... and leave quick before the panic would strike...
When i reached her board examination center ...I was just filled with this dramatic nostalgia .
Back to school days... the rush of studies... meeting school buddies everyday... the insanity... the rules... the responsibility ...being a bad ass at times...breaking rules... defining examples... the captainship ..the competition ... and memories memories memories.
..coming to exams...i dread them till date... and will not leave my books till the last bell goes off..
i can't say what kind off a student am i....but i am a learner....:)
10th standard... the last time i saw all my friends together at one place....
how we have moved on... different lives..different dreams... different personalities...n yes, different set of friends...
if there was a chance to live back that moment...where i get to see them all together...as them then..n not now... i wouldn't miss it ...
what a day yesterday was...
but we still gotta live the today....
and strive for a tomorrow .....

come what may...those memories...won't ever fade away....EVER...!!!

since i am talking about nostalgia.....my sisters examination center had these pretty morning glory flowers ....one of my favourites from childhood...i use to tell them hello everyday before i left for school...and when i saw them yesterday... i just had to capture them ..


i also met snowy there..... and i'll let you know who snowy is tomorrow...

take care..:)

Fed Up...But..Not Giving Up..

So today, I couldn't just keep it to myself, with all that happened a little while back.
For a long time now I know what it feels like to go to bed being unappreciated and wake up  with voices screaming, yelling  and taunting , scolding.
Being made to feel that nothing I do or did makes a difference.
I don't even know how do I manage to survive this battle each day.
If it would have  been a 'sometimes' story I'd probably not hate myself for being around.
But now, I do. yes, I very much do.
Hate myself or not being able to decipher where the hell does the fault lie, Hate myself for not being able to change it. Simply hate myself.
It sounds apathetic I know, but it can't be helped. I rather say what i feel than make it all flowery and fill it  with words i don't.
The cruelty of insomnia that doesn't seem to abandon me.
 The passage of time just leaves me baffled as i wake up each morning and go through these gamut of emotions within a single day.
And then there are days when my life state screams for an explanation . I guess, today is one of those. I sit quitely next to window as tears build up and thoughts drag me into a whole different world.
 The gratitude diminishes to zero. I wish i could break my knuckles to feel the pain of something else than the harrowing feelings trotting all over my mind.
People talk about sacrifice ..well..lets be fair, everyone does go through his/ her share of sacrifices why just count yourself to be the only one..!!! the harsh behaviour . more than a dozen of restrictions. put me through this awesome jog everyday ..and don't expect a breakdown. excellent, thank you for forgetting I am human too. ..and my life is no even  or barrier free.
For how long now, should i listen to those bitter words over and over and over . Believe me if i had a way out, i'd pick one ..but wow, the best is when the reason for the delay of things working out is known to them and yet they dont fail to make it worst.
 I put in efforts, try to make them laugh, smile , have tinnie arguments that are nothing but kiddish . But i guess it just don't work. No matter what is done...a daggers of words will always be there to cut you down . Sometimes i wonder what my value really is? and if there isn't any then frankly i don't belong here. this solid ground should crack open  and i should vanish into it. Hyperbole? well walk in my shoes for a bit ..hear everything that i have so far ..i'll buy you a promise that you will  not say that was feeling of exaggeration on my part .
 I dont say i am thankless or ungrateful ...Nor do i say they don't do things for me or aren't wonderful ...but its just too hard to take in all that happens. all i want them to know...dont count me as a target of uselessness. I am in a place where too many things are happening. And i do understand all that they go through. its the conduct thats unfair. its their attitude towards me thats unfair.
If somewhere only they knew how much i hate my birthday because that day has become the least meaningful day of my life. I wish i was unruffled by all these situations. But..I am not. ..After being said ..i m this..and i am that.. and i am not them.. or like those other kids or who so ever. I wish i could tell them- look this is my journey and that was theirs .. and i for one lie with no right to judge it. i am different so are they ..why not look at it like that.
I just hope they realize one day that i am not a bad child.....and if i really am then God bless their life with someone better.
 I am 22 ..and as i kid ..i had hoped that when i grew up life would get a whole lot better...well who is wrong when they some kids can be dumb. i guess i was one of those.
 i waited ..waited for somebody to come along...or the the ones that are there , to understand and accept ..and thats where i feel like a failure . there is so point of such wishful-ness ...atleast i have come to see so.
I am not the only one in this whole wide world who is upset..or is suffering or whatever that is....but yes...it's a number of people out there...and i am just another one in that club. Whatever they are going through i wish they get the strength to deal with and win over it!
I won't back down from this road i am walking on...there are chunks and chunks of rocks to move and to my learning thats not a painless effort .
I just wish...my life offered me someway to make them happy...... and i believe that day will arrive!
 Oh boy! I am done venting for now.

Just on a lighter note- what if I had been a bad kid??? mean , nasty...a terrible.. insensitive child...just what??!!!! atleast i wouldn't be writing this blog post...:P
kidding...
I'll dig my way through this heat!!!
also i won't lie....What ..A ..Fucked Up ..Day...!!!!

Dinner With Friends :Prithvi Theatre :)

Today wassss a tiring day ...
I am not complaining , a tiring day is better than a idle day :)
the best part was the evening , a play at prithivi theatre after yearsssssss .. i'll keep the play ticket safe and as a fond memory ...
Dinner With Friends -the play was fantastic . ...what a great job by all :)!!!
and then Mr Shashi Kapoor was also watching the play.. there couldnt be greater moment for me , to be the same room as that wonderful man. all my respect.
i wish i could gather the courage to say a few words to him....buttt...
I just hope...i could hug him and tell him thank you....
thank you for still being a person from whom i can learn and hope to inculcate.
you know they talk about being humble ....i admire that about him :)!! God Bless Him...
i had a great day.... :)

the ticket-Dinner With Friends :) ..and my av:gold bangles :)

Sparrow

Sparrows aren't exotic birds of course.. but they are cuteee
well, atleast for me
i had been trying for a while.. to get my camera lens to meet their perfect pose but they were tooooooooo quick and would just fly away
however.. today, i managed to catch a pose by one
haha how i wish they knew...i was just a friendly photographer ..
anyway...
here it is

Valentines 2012

Because i didn't want to leave this month..without sharing about that day for which this month is known
yes, Valentines Day
where most new couples must have worked at making this day special for one another.. i barely had the time to even  think about Mr Right..:P
the day was hectic , running pillar to post , a chaotic bedroom , not catching on the romantic movies being aired that day.
ahh...it was just not fun
so evening before i got back home... i went to the beach, there is something beyond the boundaries of 'just' magical..to watch a sunset. the beach was really crowded that day, well it had to be..and oh my..the high tide . it wasn't peaceful....it was noisy ...BUT..beautiful.
the night was a party time and i wasn't  interested at all...loud music, voices and more voices, food galore, philosophical discussion and the jog back into memories. ...well, i decided to stay aloof..just waiting for the day to end..get back home and crash.
but...in all of this...these beautiful lil things is what left me smiling ..:)
here..take a look...