A week ago..
Today..was just another saturday..
A alright morning
And the alarm whimpering at my idea of sleeping at waking hours
Off lately , i have been laid back for everything..
well, only if i knew the deal, i''d probably not be lost in this bizarre -so to say- never ending maze.
there are days when sitting by the window over looking the street isn't enough
there are days when listening to the clock tick tock isn't enough either
there are days when voices in the head need to be put to a rest...
there are days..when you need to listen to your heart..and not strategize
there are days when you have to let the fire of belief within you outshine every calamity trying to tarnish your soul.
for reasons ,today, i just wanted to stay away from the faces i knew.
escapism is the easiest tablet in such situations.
i am growing inseparable from this habit now as terrifying it is.. i am happy that i am aware.
change will walk in and mend things for me one day, i assume.
quietly crawling away from - what can i do to change this?
the factor called prayers- resorted to - only when i feel i need it...
i am so wrong there..
not realizing its so crucial..
so strengthening ..so enlightening ...
the broken hopes
the hurt...
scream...scream their lungs out..
the voice..but mute..
it makes me want to turn around and walk away rather than staying there and slapping the moment of dis belief dancing around me - saying- this is you...this will always be you- defeated...
i fall off from the tracks of going the right way
i walk....walk back to me...
quite, unknown, for ever wondering...forever whining...
so the today...afternoon..just came about...
i took my bag...
left to watch a movie...
haha....as always... i was late...
unable to decide...which one should i see...
though i had heard about war horse...and was wanting to see it ever since...i was 10-15 mins late already...
so i thought....na...i can't see that...
but then...i wasn't left with any choice...
horses...alwayssssss have been my love..
as a kid...and till date..
they are such magnificent creatures....
i wont lie... i did cry...it was a beautiful movie...well, atleast for me it was...
Joey (the war horse)....was the hero...
i walked out with lessons learnt...
the bonding between albert and joey ,amazes me..how wonderfully can a animal understand and love us so well...
there was rigidity of the hearts shown...
but so was kindness...
there was beauty of nature..
so was the hideous side of man..
there was love shown...
so was...how sometimes...people can walk over your emotions...even if they are your people...
i learnt...the carpet of goodness..doesnt lie on the vast and open paradise..
if we open up our hearts with love...
and embrace changes in life...its right there...
it doesnt happen overnight...but it can happen...
how albert never gives up on his love for joey...left me teary eyed...
they way he comes running to him wounded...while albert was blinded due to gas..
how the separation due to war...never ever separated them...
i could just go on...
it taught me....love.. is something you cant give up on...never...
if you value someone..or something... there is definitely going to be a
struggle to keep that person wrapped and warm under the wings of your heart...
a relationship is not a job...that you get into and walk out of the end of the day...
the relationship is a definition of you.. every moment..of every day...
be it your relationship with your parents, better half, sibling, mentor, pet, hobby, passion....for that matter your relationship with God....
you have to go on....even if things wrong (no one promised you that they won't)....you really have to toil ...and put in every bit to fix it......may be broken a thousand times...may be too hurt and tired to try it again...may be ..you just want it to end.....may be....
i have been relying on this may be...all my life...
May be tomorrow...will be my day...
i'll tell you this....the may be...never got me anywhwere...
it could never become my torch...
it never made me a better person...
it just made me highly dependent and uncertain ...
...today ...i looked at this may be...as it glared back me ...
and felt....let me replace this may be with trust...
trust...of not failing.....and if at all failing- then only to rise better...
bitter things dont bring joy...
not to anyone...
but...if albert would have given up...on receiving the letter...saying that joey was being ridden by the officer who died in the action......he would never reach there...and battle ...and get his horse back...
he surely wouldnt have...
i watched that thinking...at times...we give up so soon....and regret later...
we know...its never too late...
but what if....one day it is...
before what we love...slips away from our hand....let us love it so much...that when tomorrow happens...a chance to do so..isn't lost..
it takes courage....abundance of it...
but i'll say take the first step...
its the only way to begin......even if it is towards your dreams.....even if its slow.....doesnt matter...just follow it...
Joey's love for topthorn ....i had no words there...and i still don't ...
the moment when topthorn passes away......and joey feels hurt...yet gallops... gallops and is caught by the barbed wires....shows...life isnt easy....not for you...not for me...not for them...!!!. we alll have battled nine months...not knowing what this world is...and wanting to come into this place....and now that we are.....there is no point quitting....there is surely a point in taking/making better decisions.....but not withdrawing from something you can make happen. love is one of those. crazy...painful...yet indescribably beautiful and so are the other situations in life. It takes tremendous courage to believe in yourself- to make it happen and leaving no stone unturned to do that. and once achieved ..the delight is all yours to relish.
emilie...well...i wish i was her....the so called boss...:) she had a short role....but a beautiful one...!!! i loved the relationship essayed between her grandfather and her. just so real. her love for joey...was so natural.
in life too... i wish we could at times...not bother about reactions...and the world around us..and just be ourself.. we are so held back by these man made and mind made boundaries . we dont even give ourselves the freedom to be who we are at times.
and..then..i walked back home thinking about the words in the movie...'remarkable horse'...'miraculous horse'....wondering....who has hindered us from becoming...'remarkable ...and ...miraculous' ......who really has...??? and even if the cuts of time...have given us scars and wounds....its left us with stories to tell.....
stories...of life...
stories..that rather be lived today..then put to slumber beneath the blanket of tomorrow...
this rather looks like a troublesome weekend for me....but what the heck.....i'll push through this too....:)!!!
albert and joey.
A alright morning
And the alarm whimpering at my idea of sleeping at waking hours
Off lately , i have been laid back for everything..
well, only if i knew the deal, i''d probably not be lost in this bizarre -so to say- never ending maze.
there are days when sitting by the window over looking the street isn't enough
there are days when listening to the clock tick tock isn't enough either
there are days when voices in the head need to be put to a rest...
there are days..when you need to listen to your heart..and not strategize
there are days when you have to let the fire of belief within you outshine every calamity trying to tarnish your soul.
for reasons ,today, i just wanted to stay away from the faces i knew.
escapism is the easiest tablet in such situations.
i am growing inseparable from this habit now as terrifying it is.. i am happy that i am aware.
change will walk in and mend things for me one day, i assume.
quietly crawling away from - what can i do to change this?
the factor called prayers- resorted to - only when i feel i need it...
i am so wrong there..
not realizing its so crucial..
so strengthening ..so enlightening ...
the broken hopes
the hurt...
scream...scream their lungs out..
the voice..but mute..
it makes me want to turn around and walk away rather than staying there and slapping the moment of dis belief dancing around me - saying- this is you...this will always be you- defeated...
i fall off from the tracks of going the right way
i walk....walk back to me...
quite, unknown, for ever wondering...forever whining...
so the today...afternoon..just came about...
i took my bag...
left to watch a movie...
haha....as always... i was late...
unable to decide...which one should i see...
though i had heard about war horse...and was wanting to see it ever since...i was 10-15 mins late already...
so i thought....na...i can't see that...
but then...i wasn't left with any choice...
horses...alwayssssss have been my love..
as a kid...and till date..
they are such magnificent creatures....
i wont lie... i did cry...it was a beautiful movie...well, atleast for me it was...
Joey (the war horse)....was the hero...
i walked out with lessons learnt...
the bonding between albert and joey ,amazes me..how wonderfully can a animal understand and love us so well...
there was rigidity of the hearts shown...
but so was kindness...
there was beauty of nature..
so was the hideous side of man..
there was love shown...
so was...how sometimes...people can walk over your emotions...even if they are your people...
i learnt...the carpet of goodness..doesnt lie on the vast and open paradise..
if we open up our hearts with love...
and embrace changes in life...its right there...
it doesnt happen overnight...but it can happen...
how albert never gives up on his love for joey...left me teary eyed...
they way he comes running to him wounded...while albert was blinded due to gas..
how the separation due to war...never ever separated them...
i could just go on...
it taught me....love.. is something you cant give up on...never...
if you value someone..or something... there is definitely going to be a
struggle to keep that person wrapped and warm under the wings of your heart...
a relationship is not a job...that you get into and walk out of the end of the day...
the relationship is a definition of you.. every moment..of every day...
be it your relationship with your parents, better half, sibling, mentor, pet, hobby, passion....for that matter your relationship with God....
you have to go on....even if things wrong (no one promised you that they won't)....you really have to toil ...and put in every bit to fix it......may be broken a thousand times...may be too hurt and tired to try it again...may be ..you just want it to end.....may be....
i have been relying on this may be...all my life...
May be tomorrow...will be my day...
i'll tell you this....the may be...never got me anywhwere...
it could never become my torch...
it never made me a better person...
it just made me highly dependent and uncertain ...
...today ...i looked at this may be...as it glared back me ...
and felt....let me replace this may be with trust...
trust...of not failing.....and if at all failing- then only to rise better...
bitter things dont bring joy...
not to anyone...
but...if albert would have given up...on receiving the letter...saying that joey was being ridden by the officer who died in the action......he would never reach there...and battle ...and get his horse back...
he surely wouldnt have...
i watched that thinking...at times...we give up so soon....and regret later...
we know...its never too late...
but what if....one day it is...
before what we love...slips away from our hand....let us love it so much...that when tomorrow happens...a chance to do so..isn't lost..
it takes courage....abundance of it...
but i'll say take the first step...
its the only way to begin......even if it is towards your dreams.....even if its slow.....doesnt matter...just follow it...
Joey's love for topthorn ....i had no words there...and i still don't ...
the moment when topthorn passes away......and joey feels hurt...yet gallops... gallops and is caught by the barbed wires....shows...life isnt easy....not for you...not for me...not for them...!!!. we alll have battled nine months...not knowing what this world is...and wanting to come into this place....and now that we are.....there is no point quitting....there is surely a point in taking/making better decisions.....but not withdrawing from something you can make happen. love is one of those. crazy...painful...yet indescribably beautiful and so are the other situations in life. It takes tremendous courage to believe in yourself- to make it happen and leaving no stone unturned to do that. and once achieved ..the delight is all yours to relish.
emilie...well...i wish i was her....the so called boss...:) she had a short role....but a beautiful one...!!! i loved the relationship essayed between her grandfather and her. just so real. her love for joey...was so natural.
in life too... i wish we could at times...not bother about reactions...and the world around us..and just be ourself.. we are so held back by these man made and mind made boundaries . we dont even give ourselves the freedom to be who we are at times.
and..then..i walked back home thinking about the words in the movie...'remarkable horse'...'miraculous horse'....wondering....who has hindered us from becoming...'remarkable ...and ...miraculous' ......who really has...??? and even if the cuts of time...have given us scars and wounds....its left us with stories to tell.....
stories...of life...
stories..that rather be lived today..then put to slumber beneath the blanket of tomorrow...
this rather looks like a troublesome weekend for me....but what the heck.....i'll push through this too....:)!!!
albert and joey.
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