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6 Jun 2012

Dainty Darkness

Wow..its been a few days since I came down here to be a bit me .
Where did my teen years just go .. I have no idea..
There were lots of twists and turns though years of school..which meant telling all the babyhood friends bye until we met again. It meant telling all those care free and routine years bye. It meant more being a t a teacher pet. It also meant.. bonding getting stronger , memories to carry , ink day craziness and keeping that uniform alive with all those words, it meant remembering the school prayer for the rest of our lives , all those medals and certificates , all those scoldings and punishments , all the pranks and competitive fun, the responsibilities .. the pat on the back for being a good kid.. ahh.. all wrapped up beautifully and kept in the treasure trove of the heart . Those days meant...Discovering Yourself. :)
Today... its been 7 years.. and now everything is so different. Lives have moved on.. Dreams have changed and Life... continues to throw challenges ..the speedy ones, constantly .
I have always been a bit indecisive.
And this day is no different.
Coming down to age where I am .. Am often lost in a wonder , the list of 'to do'..'to want'.. ' i wish' is soo huge at times, I mean mostly .
The darkness remains.. remains like a unwanted topping over an ice cream.
I whine and complain always.
I crib and criticize .
There are days when I just forget to be thankful .
The questions that the crop up in the mind are another story .
I  have watched people search for a peace providing anchor in such situations .. pretty usual.
 I have always found a way out of this dark.
Dainty Darkness as I say it....
Its a much requirement my opinion.. , just so that we are able to dig in more and beyond.
Scratch the layers of unknown and watch a potential surface that would bewilder us.
God is always there.. always.. no questioning that. Silent yet a wonderful teacher ..father.. friend.
Just for a moment appreciating this dark.. cause its because of this that we will be able to urge ourselves to reach that light. Its a portion of something we don't wish for.. and yet it occurs over and over again ..just so that we get to know ourselves better.. just so that we plunge into the believing in ourselves and wage through the storm beautifully.
Cases have been ... where people give up.
Its natural.. they are not to be blamed.
But then again.. don't the stars shine in the dark ..?
Haven't the people who have really believed in themselves and worked down every bit of the sweat to get where they want to be .. astonished us time and again.
We all are amazing.. there is no way we would have made it into this world without being that.
Our roles may be different.... are locations may be different.. but we belong somewhere.. where every night for maybe a billion years now..never came in without a morning.
Its nature proving it to you ... you need anything more ?
I am still in this dark... well with regards to academics and a hell lot more..
But there is a strange peace in it.. a sort of re assurance ... that no matter what.... the sunshine will fill up the room of my heart and lead me to a golden palace ..where all that desires resides. :)
This dainty darkness is indeed the time .. to roar with a deeper resolve .. and churn the energy , hard work and determinations into something absolutely beautiful.
There are many lesson to learn along this passage of time.... and this a pathway disguised.
I am going to make the most of it. :)

No harm in being your own sunshine through the dark 

Even the courage to say 'you want to' is a sign  of that light 

Something beautiful about darkness to be rejoiced