Total Pageviews

26 Apr 2014

Found In a Mess

Found In A Mess

Rare are the days when your dad will say "Bachey start writing." I have never had the faith in the words I have penned or typed. I disagree with anyone who says I can be a writer ...SOMEDAY (ssshh my school principal said that too -infact she wanted me to write a book). I am writing here after a good gap of year ....umm...sorry I'll use the word I do - I am ramblinggggggg.. Needless to say alot has happened and alot has changed. Great let downs and great highs. Disappointments..tears....smiles ..laughter and hell lotta question marks. That's all that happened this year. I didn't get to savor the delight of my own victory. I was baffled by the events that I lost a  grip of my own life and de fragmented  myself in a way that made me nothing but vulnerable. I frowned more often ..I whined more often and I just went with the flow like a dead fish would. I didn't attend to my inner voice. I had my creative work to give me good jolt to make things work finally but I guess I needed something more. Something that was suffice to be a hammer and a halo at the same time. I won't say I have found that way as yet. I surely haven't. But I am finding bits of me strewn and picking those up to build me back... A me I loved a Me others loved.
Whats new -Work Life
Whats needed-Focus and Belief
Whats there- Love and compassion  anddddddddddd....a "to do list"
Whats the center of life - Meraki
Whats gone and over - The faith that I can be a good anything-friend-daughter-sister..blah blah
What remains- dreams tucked in so well ...and sometimes they don't know they exist
What I wish for - *girly voice-insert -A Date with Mr S Malhotra* ..... hahaha how I wish I could marry him
What should change this year - My weight *angelic look -pleaseeee* ...and my bank balance .....pleaseeeeee...
What I am going to change this year -MY ATTITUDE TOWARDS MY OWN LIFE .
I mean I am done with listening to broken records and words that sound like life won't ever get any better. I am done telling myself to keep waiting. It's time to take things in a better stride and have the courage to seek answers to may be the most dumbest questions ever. It's time to discard the creative disbelief ..It's time to stop being the one who waits for a confirmation and just be spontaneous and it's time to make it happen rather than having the damsel in distress attitude.

“Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.”-RUMI
This is for a friend( and anyone who needs this).... and this is to let her know ..that life isn't dandy ...its bloody not meant to be. When things cripple you .. you don't give into the devils play straddle up and get into the zone of crushing the devil. Someone .. once threw a brilliant advice that said.. "If you don't break.. you don't build... if you don't fall you seldom rise." It takes a lot of faith and courage to hinge yourself to hopes of better tomorrow when everything backfires at you. Its not easy to deal with pain and the emotional drain out..let alone the physical and mental. Nothing is easy ... nothing at all .. its purely a gimmick if anyone says it is.  Google is gone so complicated... and you expect life to not be ? C'mon ... its all the scaling of these steep climbs that make u hell stronger than you ought to be.  But if you keep fearing the height and the harshness of it all will be where you are....and stagnate and perish. You need to define you constantly. Not the people ..not a degree...not a boyfriend...not a heck of anyone else...but you . If you let your troubles tower up...thats your problem... you gave them the freedom and space too. Kill it crush it.. and rub your achievements in its face ..then see what unfolds. 
Its true what a friend once told me - "you can't have control over anything ..then why put yourself in such a traumatic state. Its your life. You know what you want from it. Go extract or else go extinct." 
Come to think of it...its true right ?.. there is no replica of you. Then why curb yourself every single day from the joy of being yourself. You are meant to rejoice it not 100..1000 other people. Take a stand. Take pride in being yourself and sculpt yourself with every tool life has handed over to you.
And if nothing...scroll up ...Read the most precious words of RUMI ! ..... Such a gorgeous word TREASURE.....!!! :) Do you believe you are one ? give it a try's worth it. (ssshhhhh's always found in a mess)
 A virtual hug and kiss to anyone who is feeling down ... and even if you are not... hugs and kisses are good for health ...hehehe. Muchhhhh love!!! 
p.s Dad I Wrote ..............opps...rambled!